Big Changes {part 1}

Wow, I've been guilty of disappearing for awhile, but this time around was a little excessive! Sorry ya'll! We've had SO much going on that blogging just took a back seat.

This year has been full of ups, downs, twists and turns! Which shouldn't be a shocker since my family and I started the year with this declaration. I mean when you say that you're going to follow YHVH blindly and just go where He leads, you might as well expect some changes.

I've blogged about a bunch of the things that have gone on this year, but there are three big things I haven't shared yet.

The first is that we left our church. This one was HARD. But we sat in service, after service, and listened to our pastor preach on Truth or Tradition. Over, and over, he asked will we stand for God's truth or for our own traditions... Talk about conviction. Now he wasn't talking about Hebrew Roots, but none the less Abba used that to work in our hearts. It was amazing. This same topic was preached on for what felt like forever, and at pretty much every service! I think I felt the itch before my hubby but I just kept quiet and prayed. When I finally asked my hubby if he was making the same connections as I was he said he was. But just wasn't sure what to do. So again I was just quiet and in prayer.

Then one night I was chatting with a dear friend, and telling her how I was feeling. I told her about the messages, how there was no where for us to go, and how lonely I felt. She encouraged me to just wait and pray so I did. Only I didn't have to wait that long. The next day someone sent me a facebook friend request. But I didn't know them. Turns out  she was another believer that was local to me! But she didn't know that because my location isn't on FB. We started chatting about fellowship and when I told her that we didn't go anywhere for our Shabbat fellowship, she invited us to join her family!

My husband is usually VERY hesitant about going to new places, and especially in this situation of going to someone's house, that we had never met. So when I mentioned it to him I was figuring he'd say no. Well surprise, surprise! He said yes! That next Shabbat we head over to meet with her family, and really enjoyed the teaching and fellowship. We then went to church as normal on Sunday. But Sunday night, after the evening service, my hubby was washing dishes and I was sitting in the living room with the girls. All of a sudden he came into the living room and said "we're not going back to the church." I said "ok, like on Wednesday we're not going back?" "No, we're not going back ever."

That was it, no explanation. I didn't know what to think or say. So I didn't say anything. When we discussed it later that evening he told me that he felt YHVH was telling him not to go back. He said he stood there questioning it for a second, and then was just like if this is what I believe YHVH is telling me why am I fighting it. So I said ok, and we agreed to just continue going to our new found Shabbat fellowship.

I don't want to make this post too long, so stay tuned for part 2 :o)

Bloom where ever you're planted

Abba has been really been dealing with me about something. I was thinking it over and felt like I should share, so I pray it's a blessing to someone...

We all have plans and ideas of what we want for ourselves and our families. We pray about them, and we line things up to get to that place. There's nothings "wrong" with doing that. We should have a vision. After all the Scriptures say "where there is no vision, the people perish"! {Prov 29:18} But the danger comes in when that is our only focus. When we look forward so much that we forget to look around.

I was having one of those periods where I was ONLY looking forward, and quickly got discouraged because we are so far from the goal. I spoke to two good friends about how I was feeling and they both gave me advice that I mulled over and committed to prayer.

One of them told me that it's a daily journey to that goal and that I just need to take it one day at a time. As I was praying YHVH was showing me that I need to bloom where I am planted and work with what I have. I can't expect to be in the same place as someone who has been walking this road for 20+ years when I've only just begun. He is faithful and if I continue on He will continue on. I just have to focus on the now and plant the seeds so that one day there will be fruit.

But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully. -2 Cor 9:6

Just like a tree takes years to grow, so do we and our families. It takes time, water (the Word), and sun (love). If we put in the time then He will put in the blessing to allow for a great reward. It's about the little choices you make, every single day. Keep your goal in mind and make the little changes necessary to get there. Seek YHVH and ask for His help.

 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith YHVH, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. -Jer29:11-13

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Fear Elohim

This is a post where I'm totally transparent and share my struggles. So this is as much for me as it is for you. I just pray that in being open someone may be encouraged...

I am SO guilty of putting the ideals and thoughts of others above the truth Elohim has shown me. I hesitate before sharing things, especially when it comes to faith. I run all the possible things that people may say through my head and then usually end up not saying anything. But if it's truth, then why does it matter what other people say? And even worse, do I do that when it comes to Elohim? Do I filter my thoughts and actions through what He would think or say? Sadly, I don't as much as I should.  

By choosing to blog I live my life wide open. People see all of me and knowing that I'm "being watched" makes me self conscious. I don't want people to criticize or judge me. BUT WHO CARES?!? People can think what they want. It's not their opinion that matters, and I don't say that defiantly or with an attitude. I do believe that there is a need for wise counsel and to listen to the admonishments of those who have more wisdom in a certain area. 

But more important than what people think is what my Elohim thinks! I can't keep trying to make everyone happy. I have to do what's best for me, and that's whatever makes my Elohim happy! 

So enough is enough. I surrender, think what you will. I  long to be consumed by YHVH, to be totally caught up in Him. But being consumed with the what other people might think is getting in the way. He has to come first...


Therefore thou shalt keep the commandments of YHVH thy Elohim, to walk in His ways, and to fear Him.-Deut 8:6

For as Oft as Ye Eat...

via google

About a month ago my family and I sat at our Shabbat table to break bread, and I was angry. I felt like my husband didn't help me prepare, and we were late! I was so upset, that I just sat there trying not to look in his direction. He read the Eshet Chayil (Prov 31:10-31) blessing over me and I was still angry. He blessed the children and I sat there just stewing. I was being so awful. Then I heard my Abba whisper to me "you can't enter my rest angry". I never really even thought about that before, we've always carried on with our normal routine no matter how we are feeling. Never really thinking how that may affect our time resting in YHVH. But as I reflected on it these verses came to mind. 

 For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do shew the Lord's death till he come. Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup. For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. -1 Corinthians 11: 26-29

Until that point I had NEVER looked at our Shabbat tradition as communion. I never really put that together. But in fact it is just that. It is the breaking of bread in remembrance of Yeshua. 

So before my hubby broke the bread I stopped him and told him that I needed to apologize. He already knew I was mad so that wasn't a shock, but once I explained to him what Abba had revealed to me I think we both realized that we were on the cusp of something really important for our family. 

Right there, in front of our children, I confessed my sins and asked for his and their forgiveness. After that I felt fully free to enter into the sabbath and enjoy the rest provided by YHVH. We now make it a point to be in good spirits and right standing with each other (and Elohim) as we enter into Shabbat. It's so amazing what the Ruach HaKodesh {Holy Spirit} can do when we allow YHVH to work in our lives. 

The things we do shouldn't just be vain traditions. Every thing we do in the name of YHVH should be drawing us closer to Him and producing godliness in us. Learning that lesson has greatly transformed all that I do. 

For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. -Phillipians 1:15

A New Civil Year

For my family, 2012 was kind of rough. Of course we saw God move in amazing ways, and we have much to be thankful for. But I think I'd still classify 2012 as a valley, in our life. 

My husband and I have decided to step out in faith that 2013 will be a much better year for us. We've prayed and now we're trusting Elohim{God} to bring it to pass. We've taken Hebrews 11:1 as our family verse and plan to have the girls memorize it and refer to it as we see Adonai{the Lord} working in our lives.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." -Hebrews 11:1

Well, yesterday morning {new year's eve} I was reading Psalm 119 and I noticed a recurring theme. The Psalmist delighted in Elohim's law, or Torah, and because of that he was able to withstand all the troubles around him. This really spoke to me, because like anyone else I am not without troubles. But the cure for our troubles can be found in the Word! When we meditate on it, allowing it to direct our actions and our thoughts, we can find solace. 

As I came to an end of my reading a few verses really spoke to me. So I decided to take them on as my own life verses! Now as I move forward in this new year I plan to focus on my Elohim and His Word. 

I pray that you also will have a blessed year as you walk with Elohim. 

My Verses:

It is time for thee, Lord, to work: for they have made void thy law. Therefore I love thy commandments above gold; yea, above fine gold. Therefore I esteem all thy precepts concerning all things to be right; and I hate every false way. Thy testimonies are wonderful: therefore doth my soul keep them. -Psalm 119:126-129

Obedience Is Not Legalism

le-gal-ism

1. strict adherence, or the principle of strict adherence, to law or prescription, especially to the letter rather than the spirit.

in Theology

2.

a.

the doctrine that salvation is gained through good works.

b.

the judging of conduct in terms of adherence to preciselaws.

The word legalism is tossed around all the time. While I have no doubt that there are legalistic people out there, every person with standards IS NOT legalistic. It is a good thing to have standards! While I too believe Christianity is a "come as you are" type of faith, I do not believe it to be a "stay as you are" faith. If you are not being regenerated by your conversion to a Christianity then I would question your conversion. With conversion comes conviction, and while everyone's journey will be different it is not ok to hide behind your sins. Jesus Himself said: If ye love me, keep my commandments. -John 14:15 

It can't get much clearer than that. You can poke at it all you want, but it won't change. We as Christians are to be Christ-like, that means we shouldn't look like the world. We need to be pure in heart and unscathed by the world, shining forth the the Light of Christ. How can you shine if you're just like everyone else? Do people know you are a Christian by the way you carry yourself? They should. In 1 Timothy 2:9-10 we read:

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

There is your brief outline of what Christian women should be like. Modest, Shamefaced (meaning discreet, self-controlled), sober (meaning of a sound mind), and not seeking to gain attention for her appearance. These things should then be coupled with good works. This isn't to gain or earn our salvation, as those who are quick to scream legalism might want you to believe, but rather to be a light shining in a dark, dark word. We are called to be a Holy people, not because we are of anything good, but because our Creator is Holy!  But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy. 1 Peter 1:15-16

Dear sister don't be fooled into believing that liberty in Christ means you can live as you please. Come out from the darkness and realize that loving Christ, and being a Christian, comes with a price. It is the leaving behind of your old self and becoming more like HIM. That doesn't happen just by reading the Bible. It happens by reading and applying what you've learned, asking for guidance, and letting the Holy Spirit Lead you! Ask the Lord to show you where He wants you to change, and dive into His Word with a heart open to being molded by Him. Your relationship with Christ will grow by leaps and bounds if you do it HIS WAY. Don't be fooled into missing out on living in the fullness of who God created you to be. 

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:1-2

Teshuva

What matters in life? Is it time spent with loved ones, the things we acquire, the status we reach?  Or is it the time we spend with Hashem?  While I've been away from blogging I've been learning a lot about my self and what really matters to me. To be really honest, I've been lonely. I felt like I didn't have a friend in the world. But as I've learned that isn't true. I have an amazing Abba that loves me and never leaves me lonely. When I feel alone its because I have left Him. Its easy to turn to the things we've always known and that are tangible for comfort. Its easy to find peace in what we see, and not in the things we don't. But it's those times when we must solely rely on our faith, that's when we find true comfort. It is in our weakness that we are made strong and it is by faith that we are able to carry on.

I think for me it's easy to get lost in the shuffle because I didn't grow up with strong faith. We had a lot of traditions but for me personally they weren't spiritually fulfilling. Now that I know what routines and traditions keep my "spiritual tank" full I still seem to drop the ball! I guess its just human nature to get lazy but I'm working on it. I discovered that when I blog I keep my self spiritually grounded and looking heavenward. Hashem made me a writer and an artist for a reason. I need to use the things He gave me to communicate with Him.

I was reading back over some of the different things I've written and I kind of inspired myself! I realized that He knows what He's doing! So I need to just chill out sometimes. I get too wrapped up in the out come of things and I miss right now. I think I've mentioned this before. But at least you know I struggle too, and sometimes with the same things repeatedly! So now here I am for the millionth time at the point of teshuva {repentance}. I'm turning back to Hashem and getting my priorities in order.


I pray that your Fall Chagim {holidays} have been blessed and that you feel refreshed and more connected to Hashem then before. 


Love and Blessings, 

Hello Mornings!

How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? 

when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep  

-Proverbs 6:9

I am finally saying Hello to Mornings! I am so far from being a morning person. My idea of getting up early is 9:30/10 am. I recently started trying to get up at 9 but that still hasn't been enough time to get anything done before the girls get up.

So I've decided to take the plunge and get up really early. I'm talking 6am early! I plan to do so with the help of Kat from Inspired to Action. I've filled out her Maximizing Your Mornings workbook and I'm ready to start! With this new plan in action I hoping to spend more time in the word, and get in shape. Any suggestions for how to get out of bed in the morning when all you really want to do is hit snooze?? What time do you all get up?

Tefilah (Prayer)

 I've mentioned before how difficult prayer is for me. I wasn't really taught how to pray. Growing up Catholic I had specific prayers to say but it wasn't the same as really reaching out to HaShem. I would go to confession and say the Our Father and my Hail Marys. But I never understood that Yeshua was teaching us how to pray and that the Our Father is an example of how we should pray.  I never really learned from the prayers. So I find my self struggling day to day and when I really need to reach out. I try to make prayer a priority but I'm not so great at it. I've come a long way but I'm not where I would like to be. I'm the kind of person that just likes to arrive, so the journey can be a bit frustrating. 

Despite my struggles with set prayers, the idea of a siddur (prayer book) appeals to me; I think its the use of the set prayers to get your mind right for your own prayers.  I started to make my own siddur, but, I don't know for some reason that didn't help me. I have a pocket NT that has Psalms and Proverbs, so I wrote down a list of Tehillim (Psalms) to be recited for specific occasions and began using that to recite psalms before diving into my supplications. That helped me out tremendously. Which leaves me thinking that maybe I need a "real" pocket siddur. Something tangible that has prayers that I didn't make up and that makes me feel closer to YHVH. 

The thought of getting a siddur leads me to my next thought which is the three daily prayers in Judaism. Something appeals to me about stopping what you're doing, no matter what it is, to pray. I haven't really made any definitive decisions about this but its something that is really on my mind. 

But what about you? What is your prayer life like?