So I've been away for awhile. I wish I had some exciting stories to share or some extremely valuable knowledge to impart. But I don't. Quit honestly I've been struggling. I've been just trying to keep my head above water. I was fighting to stay a float and not properly using my life saver. I was so busy trying to fix everything myself I didn't trust in the only way I could truly not drown. I wasn't trusting in God. I got fed up when I felt I was giving too much of myself. But YHVH doesn't say give only while you're getting back. He says to esteem others as better than ourselves. (see Philipians 2:3) That means that I'm not doing anything to benefit myself but to benefit those around me. For me that mostly includes my children and my husband. I'm not washing dishes everyday because someone is going to thank me or praise me but because my family needs it. I'm not making the bed everyday because someone is going to thank me, it's because even if he won't admit it my husband likes the way the room looks when I do.
I've been feeling utterly exhausted but I wasn't looking to the proper place for my strength. I complained about not having friends (at least none that I can go visit and sit and chat with, or grab a coffee, or go shopping with). But I've learned that truly there is a season for everything and maybe just maybe this is my season to gather stones (see Ecclesiasties 3:1&5). For me those stones are what makes me get a step closer to my King. A step closer to really being in His will and truly trusting in Him for all things. Because when I am walking closely with Him, then I will find true joy in my place in this world. I know this is a lesson I seem to keep needing to learn, I'm just thankful for an AMAZING and longsuffering Heavenly Father. So again here I am re-focused on my family and my role as a helpmeet, and mother. I know that I am blessed beyond measure to have a family to take care of. I just pray I can remember that the next time I'm feeling a bit stressed.
Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. -Phil 2:3
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; -Ecc 3:1&5