Our Eyes are Upon Thee

In life we all go through trails. But how we deal with them is what really matters. I was reading in 2 Chronicles 20, last night, and I realized some things. When Jehoshaphat had a problem, he turned to the Most High. The example he set is one that can bless us when we are going through life's trials.

...Jehoshaphat feared and set himself to seek the Lord... {vs 3}

Jehoshaphat got everyone together, stood before the Lord, and he 
-Praised the Lord {vs 6-7}
-Thanked the Lord and claimed promises from the Lord {vs 8-9}
-Pleaded with the Lord for help {vs 10-12}

He didn't go to the Lord with an ego, or pride. He didn't blame the Lord. Instead is trusted in Him! The end of verse 12 he says "neither know we what to do: our eyes are upon thee." He was totally surrendered to the Lord. How often when we are in times of turmoil do we have pity parties or let it rattle our trust? I know I am completely guilty of that! But not Jehoshaphat. He fixed his eyes, just as we should, on the God of the universe. 

Not only did he fix his eyes. He included all of Judah, even wives and children! {vs 13} We like wise should include our children. Don't be afraid to share the truth with them so that they may pray and have their faith strengthened! 

Once all this happened, God appeared. What He said totally changed me...

"Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God's....Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the Lord with you..." {vs 15 & 17}

That may not be the case for every battle we go through. There will be times we need to act. But more often than not the things we worry most about, are out of our hands! I know when things seem overwhelming to me I loose complete sight of all that God has previously done for me. I get panicky and fearful. But it's in those times that the Lord says, stand ye still. Because it is His battle, His name on the line. If you are His child and are called according to His purpose, then there is no need to worry. Because He will work it all out for good, for His glory! {Rom 8:28}

There is freedom there!!! Don't allow the enemy to steal your peace! If you are worrying about something, or afraid, set your eyes upon your Redeemer. Fix your eyes on Him and stand ye still. He will not fail you. 

...Believe in the Lord your God, so shall ye be established... -2 Chron 20:20

Sanctification

Sanctification is defined as being made holy, or separated unto God. But depending on what Christian denomination you belong to the way that "looks" varies. 

Should that be the case? Should holiness look different depending on what label we give ourselves or should it look the same across the board? I think it should look the same. If we're all using the same Book and believing in the same God then it should be the same holiness. 

I think the disconnect comes from where we get our definition of holiness. Many times we read into scripture and say well it should be this or that, and we explain away scripture that is clear as day.

That should not be so. We should be clinging to the Word and seeking to be transformed by the Ruach HaKodesh {Holy Spirit} not by what is acceptable in our church. 

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:1-2

Just an example... I was convicted of wearing a headcovering 4 years ago. When I began covering my hair no one in my church did it. I did not think (and still do not think) that I am holier than them or anyone else. BUT I did listen to the Ruach when I was lead in that direction. Even though I was counter cultural, and was doing something my congregation did not do. But it wasn't about the approval of other people. It was about what the Lord had shown me and my being diligent to do all that He has called me to do. 

Maybe there is something that the Lord is calling you to. Something that is different from what everyone around you is doing. That is the point of sanctification! That you are different from those around you. That you are set apart unto the Lord, and are conformed to HIS image. 

It's not always an easy process, ok I'll be honest it's rarely ever an easy process. The flesh wants to kick and scream and do what it wills. But when we as believers submit ourselves to the Lord and we do as HE asks us we will be all the better for it. 

Sanctification comes after salvation. So once we repent and decide to become a child of the Most High then we need to look and act like one of His children. 

When a family adopts a child they don't hold that child to different standards. That child is now a real part of the family and the same expectations that are placed on any other children, are placed on that child as well. It's just the same for us as believers. While the He my lead us at different times, we should all be headed in the same direction.

So as you are studying and praying, ask the Father to give you a heart for what He loves. Ask for Him to help you to behave as His child. 

Then the phone rang...

It had been barely even 24 hours since I posted about having the faith to stay put, when your heart wants to go. I was giving the baby a bath and when I came out my husband was hanging up the phone. I was a little confused because the last little bit of the conversation I heard sounded like something was going on, and it was after 10pm.

He told me a very sweet friend we had met at Family Week was in need. Her husband and some other friends were at the airport and needed a place to stay for Shabbat. My husband had told her we couldn't help because we had no way to transport 8 people to our home. But I said oh no Hashem will provide a way, and called her back! (with his blessing of course)

After some back and forth we decided that they would stay one night in a hotel and if there were still issues they would come to us for Shabbat, bezrat Hashem.

That night we prayed that if it was His will that we would get to host these people in our home. We weren't sure what that would look like but we were willing to give it a try.

The next morning they called and decided that half of them would come to our home over night and half of them would try again to get on their flight. Money was tight but we just moved forward in faith. As my husband was getting ready to leave he went to check the mail. Lo and behold there was a check there that we weren't expecting to for at least a week! It was such a blessing, and it meant that we were now able to provide a better experience for our guests.

We don't have any extra bedrooms, so we moved our children into our room and prepared the children's room for our guests. It was kind of like camping, which thankfully our guests didn't mind.

We had a sweet time of fellowship and there was plenty of food and snacks to go around! When they left I felt edified and like we truly opened ourselves up to be used by Hashem to bless His people. I am so thankful for that. It was just like a little wink and nudge to let me know that He sees my heart and that if I just stay open to being used by Him, He will use me in His own way.

Staying put may not always be what we want to do, but it's not about us. It's about Him! Plus there are people all around you that are in need. Whether it be physical or spiritual, there are areas where you can serve and be used.

A week or so after our guests left we had another family over for dinner who was having a rough time. We wanted to be a blessing and we were. A few weeks after that my husband was able to go and help a family, who had been homeless, paint their new home so they could move in quickly.

We may be called to stay here, but I'm learning that we are still called to serve. It may not look how I thought it would, but it looks exactly how my Abba wants it.

Love and blessings,

The faith to stay

I don't know if any of you are like me, but I have this overwhelming desire to be used mightily by Hashem. I want His blessings on my life. I want to serve Him with everything I have.

In my mind that looks so mighty. Like moving cross country on short notice because we're called to serve in some way. Or heading up a ministry of some sort. Or serving on a foreign missions field.

I totally have the faith to go. I'd go pretty much anywhere with out a second thought. Of course there are a few places that I'd ask "Abba are you sure?" but those places are few. My heart for doing the will of my Creator is so big that often my view of what He wants seems grandiose.

But what about when His will is for me to stay put? To serve Him where I am despite how un-grand it feels.

We had high hopes of moving to be in closer fellowship with others, and to devote our lives to full time ministry. We felt very strongly that it was Hashem's will. But then door after door was closed on our plans.

That was so hard. We felt very confused and severely overwhelmed. Many changes had to be made in order for us to go. So when it didn't go as planned we were hurt.

I was so frustrated.

But then the Almighty moved me to a realization that changed things for me. I need to be just as willing to stay, as I am to go.

Going somewhere seems glamorous. People know about it and they say "wow look at her faith". But when you stay put and you are doing the everyday things. The training of children, the cleaning of the home. No one cares. No one says wow your faith is so strong.

Instead they ask "what do you do all day?" They look at you and think all kinds of negative things. Encouraging your faith, is generally not on the list of comments to be made. So you're left feeling like the work you are doing is worthless.

But it takes just as much --if not more-- faith to stay, when everything inside of you wants to go. It's easy to feel like you're being sidelined. But that's not true. Abba doesn't want to punish your faith. He wants to continue to grow it.

He can't do that if you sulk and grow bitter. He needs your heart to stay joyfully focused on HIM as He gives you the grace to navigate your situation. When the time is right He will move.

For me personally I am spending this time at home working on the character qualities that I believe Hashem is trying to bring about in me, and my children, through this time.

It's not easy but with His help it is possible. So if you are like me and are struggling with having the faith to stay, I just want to encourage you today that the Lord has a plan for your life and where ever He has you He wants you to SHINE!

Love and blessings,

Behind The Scenes God

I've heard countless stories about how things have come together for people and they could see how HaShem was at work "behind the scenes". We can see this very clearly also in the book of Esther. How things all come together by seeming coincidence. But to the believer there is no such thing as coincidence. My family was able to experience this recently as we walked through some health issues with one of our daughters.

Our 2nd born daughter, B, has been battling eczema for awhile now. Most people don't realize how serious of a condition this can be. It's not just dry skin. Especially not for her. Her whole entire body is covered in this itchy scaly rash. This is not a put some lotion on it kind of situation. We realize that her eczema is wrapped up in all her food allergies and sensitivities, so we had scheduled an appointment with a naturopathic allergist. But that appointment was months away.

A few weeks ago we noticed that she had some severely swollen lymph nodes in her legs. I know lymph nodes swell but these were like plum size! So we took her into the pediatrician who also was concerned. She sent us to get an ultrasound and from there to a hematologist. B is such a sweet little girl, while we were getting her ultrasound she looks at me and asks "am I having a baby?" lol. She was half joking and half concerned.

I didn't do a whole lot of googling during this time because I just wanted answers. I realize now that was a blessing because I would have been even more worried had I known what I needed to be worried about! In the time between the first initial doctors appointment and all the specialist appointments the allergist called and we were able to move her appointment up significantly. Which meant that we could get answers to her allergies while also dealing with what ever else was going on.

When we got to the hematologist we waited for a bit and as I waited I read some tehillim, in particular tehillim 34 stood out. So I just tucked it away in my heart and knew that it was a gift to me. When it was time for the blood draw I had to try to console B as well as hold her still. That was hard. But what was even harder was hearing the doctor say "ok I will run theses and then we will know in about 15 minutes if it's Leukemia."

Leukemia!? Cancer!? What!?

My head was spinning. I came in thinking the blood work was for something that.... was not as scary as leukemia. I began replaying tehillim 34 in my head and prayed silently. The angel of HaShem encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them. O taste and see that HaShem is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in Him. {Teh 34:7-8}

The doctor finally came back in and said there was no sign of infection and that B did not have leukemia. I let out a huge sigh of relief and then she said, "I'd like to get a chest x-ray so we can determine if we should move forward with a biopsy to check for lymphoma"

Lymphoma!? Didn't we just rule out cancer? I felt like I couldn't breathe again. The doctor assured me that it was just something they needed to check but that didn't ease my mind any. So off we went to get an x-ray. The next day after waiting all day for the results I finally got a call back telling me her x-ray was clear! BARUCH HASHEM!! 

So now we have ruled out cancer. But what's wrong with my baby?

The time had finally come to meet with the allergist. we told her everything that was going on and then she tested her for over a hundred things. Her allergies were even more severe than we thought. Turns out that the swollen lymph nodes are all part of her allergies. She is allergic to:

Tomatoes
Potatoes
Bell Peppers
Corn 
Eggplant 
All beans and legumes 
Tree nuts 
Peanuts 
Gluten 
Eggs 
All animal dairy 
Bananas 
Peaches 
Papaya 
Goji berries
Cacoa beans (chocolate)

Yes you read that list correctly. Yes it is A LOT. This means that we have been unknowingly giving her an allergic reaction at every meal. But we know, b'ezrat HaShem, that we will get through this and she will be healed. Since seeing the allergist we already are seeing some changes in her. She is taking probiotics twice a day, as well as some homeopathic medicines. We are also giving her fish bone broth, and will begin giving her aloe. 

This all came at a time when we really needed to know what as going on. We needed to get into the allergist early and we needed to have some second opinions. We were able to discuss everything and have her checked out by multiple doctors and really get some solid footing. To the average person this is all coincidental. But for us we know it is so much more than that. We thank our Elohim for His guiding hand in all of this, we thank Him for showing us the truth and walking with us through it. 

At the allergist there was a sign up that said: 

"We don't believe in miracles, we rely upon them"

I wholeheartedly agree! 

O magnify HaShem with me, and let us exalt His name together. I sought HaShem, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. -Teh 34:3-4

(This all happened a few months ago and B is doing a lot better)

The Beautiful Moments

I don't know if any of you are like me but I really struggle with wanting every moment to be picture perfect. I don't do well when life is hard, or messy, or even boring. I'm always longing for those moments in life where everything comes together and if it were caught on film it would awe and inspire the viewer. 

I tend to feel like every moment must be beautiful. When in reality most are not. I have this habit of running away or shutting down when things are not as I would like. But in reality life is hard and often times ugly, yet those are the moments that lead us to those beautiful places. Just like diamonds are formed in the deepest parts of the earth under extreme pressure, we too are perfected in our valleys when things seem to be the hardest. 

I read a blog post recently that reminded me of the importance of not running. It really spoke to my heart about relationships with people and being authentic. Being willing to share those hard times so that after I am pressed and tried I can shine all the brighter in hopes that my Abba may be glorified! {Matt 5:16}

For runners like me how do we make it through those rough times? It's easy to say you must press on, but doing it isn't so easy. For me the one thing that helps me keep going is clinging to Yeshua! I find I must be constantly washing myself in the Word. I find that it is true what Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Messiah may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Messiah's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

So what's the lesson I've learned? In those times when you feel like you are in the deepest parts of the earth under extreme pressure RUN to the Word and seek the face of the Savior. Don't pull away and let the hard times ruin the perfect picture you'll have in the end. 

Little Blessings

This week's prep day was really hard for us. It felt like we'd never get there. It was just one thing after the other and everyone was stressed out. I had a doctor's appointment which totally put a kink in our plans, and then when I got home I had forgotten to stop at the store! 

I so wanted this shabbat to be special. Our last few have been a bit rough and didn't go as we had hoped. We weren't getting the full shalom of Elohim's presence! Thankfully it's not up to us to make shabbat holy, but we do need to fully enter into His rest. 

In spite of all of the struggles I was determined to make sure that we fully opened ourselves up to welcome the Divine. So as my hubby ran out to grab a few things I set the table and lit the candles. I even let each of my girls light their own candles for the first time. Then we sang L'cha Dodi and the girls danced around the kitchen. 

Once my husband came home it was time for kiddush and the blessings. But before he started he gave another attempt at blowing our shofar. In the past he had not been able to get any sounds out of it. It always sounded like he was just blowing air through a tube. He's practiced and practiced but still he wasn't able to get it. So much so that he wasn't even really interested in trying to blow it for real tonight. But with a little prompting he gave it another shot. 

At first it just sounded like air. But then it happened. The most beautiful sound came out of it, he finally did it! We were all so excited and it just felt like the most perfect start to having a wonderful shabbat. After that my hubby proceeded to bless us all and it was exactly what we had hoped for. 

Sometimes in life we just need those little blessings. Those things that happen and let us know that we are not forgotten. That Abba hears our cries, and knows our hearts. When we delight ourselves in the Most High then He is faithful to give us the desires of our heart. {Psalm 37:4}

Press on and faint not my friends. Look for the little blessings and be renewed in His strength! 

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. -2 Corinthians 4:16

Are you salty?

Have you ever read the verse that talks about unsalty salt? 

Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. -Matthew 5:13

This verse always seemed weird to me. Maybe it's just me but I've never had unsalty salt. So it just didn't make sense to me. But recently I needed to buy some sea salt. I normally just use regular table salt, but for what ever reason this time I needed sea salt.

That sea salt made my table salt seem very unsalty! I was so shocked. On the container it said to just use the same amount you would table salt. But when I did the results were barely edible! My container of table salt had lost it's savour! Whoa!

I'd love to say I'm like super spiritual and that my mind immediately went to that verse. But nope... It was well over a month later while I was cooking dinner that the Lord brought this concept to my mind. It was almost like the Lord was saying "how salty are you Tewauna?" 

I've never really thought about it before. I just took for granted that I'm to be "salt and light". I never took into consideration my saltiness. But that is something that matters! So how do we maintain our saltiness? If we keep reading we see in verse 16 that we need to "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."

So that's the ticket! Good works. Doing what's right. OBEDIENCE! It never ceases to amaze me how often that is the answer. If we simply obey what the Lord says, no matter what we think or what people say, then we can continue to useful. But when we disobey we become "good for nothing". I don't want that to be me! How about you? 

What area in your life is the Lord calling you to surrender, or die to self? 

When you're loosing the fight...

I'm the type of person that looks at child rearing as bringing up soldiers for the Lord. Not in a militant and aggressive type of way, but rather that my goal is to train my children to love and serve the Lord. That means I'm in a battle with the enemy. Because his goal is the exact opposite. His goal is that my children would instead only love themselves and seek to serve themselves, which in turn would leave them enslaved to him. 

Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness? -Romans 6:16

You see our selfish fleshly desires lead us into bondage. How can I set my children up for that? Of course I must fight for them to be free.  For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. {Romans 8:6} But when I slack off then I am failing. Which means I'm loosing the fight! That is a scary and sobering thought, and that's precisely where I have been! I mentioned before that I was struggling to get things together since the move and unfortunately it's been really hard on everyone. But what do you do when you're loosing the fight???? YOU PUT ON YOUR ARMOUR AND STAND! 

Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints... -Ephesians 6:11-18

This past week as we celebrated the feast of Sukkot, or Tabernacles, {Leviticus 23:34-36} the Lord really dealt with me. He showed me where I was failing, why I was failing, and how to fix it. So I started this week with a new resolve! Determined to get back any ground that I had given over I made a plan of action. I know that this plan is only doable in His strength because I was seriously slacking before. Not only that, we have a baby coming! Once the baby is born if I don't have a grip on things I'll be drowning even more! Which is something I most certainly don't want. 

So starting today we've starting a new schedule, that gives us goals for the day. Having a goal gives you purpose, and direction. The other thing I'm doing is making sure that I have a quiet time with the Lord TWICE a day. I know for most moms getting it in once seems like a miracle. But I'm a firm believer that we make time for what we want. So I found the time to read my Bible and get alone with the Lord. It's not always easy and sometimes it literally feels like a fight! But I need it, so I do it. That truly is the key to me being successful at training up my children, and loving my husband. 

That is my game plan and today it has gone smoothly. We may not have done everything exactly on time, but we got everything accomplished! I'm choosing to stand, and fight back, that's what you do when you're loosing!


Until next time, be strong in the Lord!

Life and all that comes with it...

Painting by Carol Marine

Well I have just been an awful blogger lately! Sorry about that. Life just seems to be a little crazy. Between pregnancy brain, low iron, and training up two young ladies, life can kind of get a little hectic.

Seems like try as we might we just haven't been able to get our acts together since the move. I don't know if it's the pregnancy, or just a normal readjustment period, because this is our first move as a family. But I'm looking forward to getting it all figured out as we move forward. 

We've started homeschooling which has been going well. I'm using Easy Peasy Homeschool because it's a free curriculum. Yay free! But with all the excitement from the fall feasts we haven't been very consistent. I think as they girls get older that I'll start after the Holy Days, or something. We'll see.

Along with struggling to just get back into a routine I've been struggling to get back into having my own quiet time with the Lord. Which is MUCH needed. I've been reading but it's not the same as that consistent uninterrupted time with Him. As a mom (really just as a Christian in general) that time is so important. This life is SO hard to do on your own. I remember seeing a tweet once that said:
"note to self, don't try to do life with out God." How true it that! We just absolutely need Him. 

So my goal is to have two quiet times a day! At first I thought that was aiming too high, but then I thought about it. I spend far too much time on facebook, reading blogs, and watching netflix. If I go to bed earlier I can get in some Bible time at night. Then if I'm going to bed earlier, I will be able to get up earlier and I'll have Bible time then as well! Hopefully this works, but if not, I'll be happy to at least get in one of those times. I'm hoping to make this a new part of my life, not just something I do for this season. Two Bible times just sounds so amazing, and the more we are in the Word the more we get to know Him! I want to be so close to my Abba that you can't meet me, with out meeting Him! 

This is the heart of our family, and what we want for our home. So we're FINALLY getting around to putting up some Bible verses! Having scripture on the wall just reminds us through the day of why we do what we do, and Who we serve. 

As of now the only one that is up is in our bedroom. We figured that's the best place to start, since it all starts with us. So now when we wake up the first thing we see in the morning is: "Arise therefore, and be doing, and the Lord be with thee." This is from 1 chronicles 22:16b, it has to do with getting the Temple built, but it spoke to us. We have so much to "be doing" and this is a constant reminder to do it, and to make sure we keep the right focus. We're planning to put more up in every room, but since my hubby is hand paining them it's going to take some time. I'll share once it's all done. 

I think that about covers everything for right now, so I'll leave you with a little bit of exciting news. I had an ultrasound and we know the baby's gender. We're having a... BOY! My hubby is over the moon, and we're all just so excited to meet the newest addition to our family! 

Until next time, be strong in the Lord!

Do and Be

I find myself often thinking of the things I'd like to do and be. I'd like to volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center. Because my life story isn't much different than theirs. Only, I went from a sinner dead in my sins, to a sinner saved by grace. I can tell them of the pit that Yeshua lifted me from and the love He has for them.

 I'd like to write a book. I could fill volumes on my life, and the pains I've seen. Or I could write about all the things that I sought to mask my inner hurts. Until finally finding the Redeemer of my Soul.

I'd love to be a doula. Because every miracle starts with birth. To be able to hold a mother's hand as she prepares to take part in the only way Elohim created for more Adams and Eves to enter the world. It's like a little piece of heaven on earth.

 But when I get lost in my dreams of doing and being I have to remind myself that I am doing and being exactly what Elohim has called me to. That outside of this role I'm in rebellion to my Creator. He has blessed me with a husband and children, and if He has blessed you also then this is where your miracle starts.

 So mother, be and do motherhood. It's not the end of your story but the beginning. With the birth of your first child your life is forever changed and the doing and being will not stop. It may look different than in your dreams. But that's because it's better than anything you could of ever imagined. The days are hard, and the nights are long. But when your children rise up and call you blessed, you'll be glad that you invested the time to do and be a mother.


 

Giants in The Faith

We all have them. People we absolutely look up to as the ideal Titus 2 or Proverbs 31 woman. But it's all to easy to get a little distracted by their "greatness".

I was reflecting on this while I was washing dishes the other night. I started thinking about this lady who I think is just so amazingly awesome. I was reflecting on how well her children have turned out and just the blessings that have been heaped upon her family. Which led to me kind of beating myself up a little. But then a thought came to me. A thought that was clearly from Abba because I was well down the road to self pity! 

What exactly has she done? In her younger years while she was still in the stage that I am in she just did what YHVH called her to do. She loved her husband and her children. She did the same things every day and put in the work to train up her children in the way they should go. 

We all have probably been guilty of putting people on a much higher pedestal than they deserve. I'm pretty sure if you asked any one who you look up to about what it is that makes them who they are, they would glorify the Creator. They would tell you how He carried them through when they thought they would just pass out from the weight of life. 

You may look at their husbands and say oh my he's such a great leader, or look at that ministry. But what you don't realize is the time that she spent on her knees to pull that off. No married man can have a successful ministry without the support of his wife. 

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. -Proverbs 31:23

You may look at her children and say oh my they are so obedient and respectful. But what you didn't see is the HOURS AND HOURS of training that had to take place. Or the moments where that very same woman was about to break down because she thought she couldn't take it another day. Until the Almighty stepped in and gave her strength. 

That same woman that you look at and think I can NEVER be that, did exactly what she was called to do.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things... -Titus 2:3

She did what YHVH told us would lead to these blessings. I say none of this to take away from these women. Because we NEED them. YHVH tells us that we need the older women to teach the younger. 

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. -Titus 2:4-5

I say this to encourage you (and me) that it's hard now, and we may feel like we're not accomplishing anything. But if we keep at it then we will see the fruits of our labors. So hang in there and be encouraged, because the best is yet to come. :o)

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. -Glatians 6:9

Bloom where ever you're planted

Abba has been really been dealing with me about something. I was thinking it over and felt like I should share, so I pray it's a blessing to someone...

We all have plans and ideas of what we want for ourselves and our families. We pray about them, and we line things up to get to that place. There's nothings "wrong" with doing that. We should have a vision. After all the Scriptures say "where there is no vision, the people perish"! {Prov 29:18} But the danger comes in when that is our only focus. When we look forward so much that we forget to look around.

I was having one of those periods where I was ONLY looking forward, and quickly got discouraged because we are so far from the goal. I spoke to two good friends about how I was feeling and they both gave me advice that I mulled over and committed to prayer.

One of them told me that it's a daily journey to that goal and that I just need to take it one day at a time. As I was praying YHVH was showing me that I need to bloom where I am planted and work with what I have. I can't expect to be in the same place as someone who has been walking this road for 20+ years when I've only just begun. He is faithful and if I continue on He will continue on. I just have to focus on the now and plant the seeds so that one day there will be fruit.

But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully. -2 Cor 9:6

Just like a tree takes years to grow, so do we and our families. It takes time, water (the Word), and sun (love). If we put in the time then He will put in the blessing to allow for a great reward. It's about the little choices you make, every single day. Keep your goal in mind and make the little changes necessary to get there. Seek YHVH and ask for His help.

 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith YHVH, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. -Jer29:11-13

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My how time flies...

Wow time as really zoomed by! Chag haMatzot (feast of unleavened bread) is over, and we're already on day 5 of counting the omer. These last few weeks have been pretty exciting. Our family has been enjoying fellowship with some new friends that have become very dear to us, and just getting to experience all that YHVH has in store for us. The next feast is Shavuot/Pentecost which will be at the end of the Omer count. But until then it's back to business as usual.

This last year has been a bit odd since my hubby has been home with us. But he has started back working again! HalleluYah!!! We are very excited and I'm getting readjusted to being home alone with the girls. The first day was a bit crazy but we're getting used to it slowly but surely.

Lately I have been in serious prayer about being a mom. This job is SO important and I really don't want to mess it up. So I've been spending lot's of time on my knees. With that YHVH has been showing me some things that have been a HUGE help.

One of the things that I'm working on is secular TV. We don't have cable but we use services like Netflix, and Hulu, so the girls have been able to watch different children's shows. But I've seen weeds that are sprouting up in them from these things so we are totally removing it with the exception of Shalom Sesame which we have on DVD so we get to avoid commercials. This isn't the first time we've done something like this but I think this is the most drastic change we've undergone.

Initially I tried to just keep the tv off but I noticed that it was a real struggle for us all. So now the plan is to just replace the "bad" with "good". We watch documentaries about families, or nature, as well as shows like 19 Kids and Counting. That's pretty much it, unless hubby decides to get a movie or something. It's been working for right now, and the ultimate goal is to cut down to practically no tv at all.

The other area that I'm working on is homeschooling. I am so guilty of expecting too much and then getting discouraged when it doesn't happen. If you remember at the start of the "school year" I had a great plan of action, but then when reading wasn't working out I got frustrated and then started trying other curricula. I didn't stick to my convictions and the plans that I had laid out.

That's not a cycle I'd like to continue, so I've been asking Elohim to show me the best way to teach the girls, so that my expectations don't hinder them. He has been leading me towards the Charlotte Masson approach, which is summed up in this quote: “Education is an Atmosphere, a Discipline, a Life.”

With using this approach there is A LOT of reading. Instead of texts books and worksheets, we read and learn through "living books" which are books that are usually a first hand account of some thing. Also we will be working on character traits (called habits by CM). I posted once before about our training Bible, and that will be our main text for all character lessons, copy work, and reading lessons. In addition we will be reading other books that reinforce what we are attempting to learn. Math skills will be taught using manipulatives.

I'm really excited about trying this new approach and I'm seeing that it really is very compatible with Deuteronomy 6:7 which is our personal education approach.

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. -Deut 6:7

For as Oft as Ye Eat...

via google

About a month ago my family and I sat at our Shabbat table to break bread, and I was angry. I felt like my husband didn't help me prepare, and we were late! I was so upset, that I just sat there trying not to look in his direction. He read the Eshet Chayil (Prov 31:10-31) blessing over me and I was still angry. He blessed the children and I sat there just stewing. I was being so awful. Then I heard my Abba whisper to me "you can't enter my rest angry". I never really even thought about that before, we've always carried on with our normal routine no matter how we are feeling. Never really thinking how that may affect our time resting in YHVH. But as I reflected on it these verses came to mind. 

 For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do shew the Lord's death till he come. Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup. For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. -1 Corinthians 11: 26-29

Until that point I had NEVER looked at our Shabbat tradition as communion. I never really put that together. But in fact it is just that. It is the breaking of bread in remembrance of Yeshua. 

So before my hubby broke the bread I stopped him and told him that I needed to apologize. He already knew I was mad so that wasn't a shock, but once I explained to him what Abba had revealed to me I think we both realized that we were on the cusp of something really important for our family. 

Right there, in front of our children, I confessed my sins and asked for his and their forgiveness. After that I felt fully free to enter into the sabbath and enjoy the rest provided by YHVH. We now make it a point to be in good spirits and right standing with each other (and Elohim) as we enter into Shabbat. It's so amazing what the Ruach HaKodesh {Holy Spirit} can do when we allow YHVH to work in our lives. 

The things we do shouldn't just be vain traditions. Every thing we do in the name of YHVH should be drawing us closer to Him and producing godliness in us. Learning that lesson has greatly transformed all that I do. 

For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. -Phillipians 1:15

Prep day, planting seeds, and a gift

I can't believe another preparation day is here! Time has been flying by! I am going to be busy today, I'm trying out some new recipes :o) but in the mean time I wanted to share a few things with you. 

The other day I was cooking dinner and I had an extremely sobering thought... If I died today how would my children remember me? Would they remember me as always being too busy or too demanding?Or would their memories be pleasant ones of playing games and baking pies?

We aren't garaunteed any specific amount of time with our children So it's important to sow godly seeds in them EVERY day. It has to be a constant thing. 

But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully. - 2 Corinthians 9:6 

No matter what we're doing we're sowing something. If we spend more time on facebook than reading to our children that's a seed sown. Every action is a choice, and that choice is a seed. 

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. -Galatians 6:7

Sobering right? I hugged my girls extra tight after Adonai brought this to my mind...

Ok enough heavy stuff I have a gift for you! Awhile back I was listening to a show on Revive Our Hearts, I can't remember who was being interviewed but the woman was talking about how to be a blessed proverbs 31 mother. She used an acrostic for BLESSED that I wrote in my Bible because it was something I didn't want to forget about.

B- Beacon
L- Listener
E- Encourager
S- Seed Sower
S- Self-esteem builder
E- Example setter
D- Diligent

So often we hear about the total package of the P31 woman but not the sole area of motherhood. So I created this free printable for you so you can have a copy of it too! I pray it's as much of a blessing for you as it has been for me.


Shabbat Shalom