On Submission and Idolarty

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Earlier today in my personal bible time I was reading in 1 Kings, when I came across a few different verses that later manifested themselves in my life. I'll list out the verses and then explain.

For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father. For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Zidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. And Solomon did evil in the sight of the Lord, and went not fully after the Lord, as did David his father. -1 Kings 11:4-6

 But he forsook the counsel of the old men, which they had given him, and consulted with the young men that were grown up with him, and which stood before him: -1 Kings 12:8

And Asa did that which was right in the eyes of the Lord, as did David his father. And he took away the sodomites out of the land, and removed all the idols that his fathers had made. And also Maachah his mother, even her he removed from being queen, because she had made an idol in a grove; and Asa destroyed her idol, and burnt it by the brook Kidron. But the high places were not removed: nevertheless Asa's heart was perfect with the Lord all his days. -1 Kings 15:11-14

Now these three passages are each talking about a different king, but we can learn from their mistakes and successes. When I read the first passage my heart was instantly pricked and I began to think what are the things that I am leading my husband after. The second passage got me to thinking about the counsel I receive from older godly women. The third passage got me to thinking about the things in my life I make idols of. 

These thoughts all sort of go together, but it wasn't until later in the day that I truly saw the connection. After I finished reading I prayed that the Lord would show me idols in my life and what things are competing affections. I have a definition that I wrote in the front of my bible about idolatry that I like to use. 

"Idolatry is expecting people, possessions, or positions to do for me what only God can"

I don't remember where I got this quote from, but it is something I use to kind of check myself. So after I prayed I looked at this quote and tucked it away in my mind as I continued through my day. 

I was backed up on dishes, so I went into the kitchen to start what I knew was going to be a bit of a task. I usually listen to a teaching or Revive Our Hearts while I wash dishes or work in the kitchen. But today I decided to listen to The Excellent Wife audio book, by Martha Peace. I went to take down my dish drainer and I realized that it had gotten a little yucky sitting up above my cabinets (I only use it when I have a lot of dishes to wash). I wanted to clean it one way that would of slightly inconvenienced my hubby, and doing it another way would of much more inconvenienced me. So I proceeded to ask him to change his plans so that I could do what I wanted. After all what I wanted to do was going to benefit us both. But he said no. "How on earth could he say no" I thought, so I explained to him exactly what he was asking me to do, and with a bit of a puzzled look on his face he simply replied "yea". 

Yea? Yea, what? Yea, you expect me to go out of my way and create more work for myself???? Frustrated, I huffed and puffed away. As I began moving things around, feeling completely inconvenienced and unloved, I mumbled under my breath "who does he think he is?" and  other things I will not be sharing here. Then I heard the voice reading Martha Peace's book begin to talk about submission and being a glory to your husband. I glared over at the speakers and really wanted to tell that lady to shut up! But then the Lord lovingly brought to mind 1 kings 12:8 "But he forsook the counsel of the old men..." Here I am desiring to be a godly wife but then rejecting the counsel of a woman who has gone before me, and even worse I sought her out! I went and got this audio book and turned it on, yet now I'm telling her to mind her business.  Talk about a convicted heart. 

I stood there washing my dishes, with a softened heart and listened as the reader continued. Then next thing I know she's talking about idols that a woman can make in her life, that might not seem like idols. Oh, boy. I can't remember everything she said word for word, but she was saying how often times the idea of having a godly marriage, and family, can become an idol because we loose sight of what's most important, GOD. We focus more on what we want, and even risk sinning to attain it, when really our only focus should be on God. That cut through me like a hot knife through butter. 

Am I guilty of that? Of course not... until she said that you can tell by your reaction when things don't go how you think they should. If you're seeking after the Lord you"ll have peace because you are resting in Him. But if you're seeking after something other than the Lord you'll be frustrated when things aren't fitting into you're plan. That's me! I like things to go my way, and when they don't I say, "Lord are you sure?" But that's not the way to go. Now the dish drainer situation is a small thing but if I have the wrong attitude in the small things how much more so will have the wrong attitude in the big things? My reaction shows that my heart was not focused of serving my family but rather just on getting a job done because I was supposed to. When my husband didn't do what I wanted I began thinking "is this how Christ loved the church?" Which is the totally the wrong attitude. (I won't even get into how she was talking about taking the beam out of you're own eye...)

I went from being hardhearted and angry because I was inconvenienced, to the Lord taking me through all the scriptures He had shown me. If I am not careful in keeping my gaze on Him I will loose focus, and create an idol. I could then end up forcing my husband into going after my idol and not fully after the Lord. If I do not harken to warnings of godly women who have gone before me, and instead focus on the ideals of this current culture,  I can hinder my husband from being who God wants him to be. All because of my need to chase after the idol of a godly marriage and family instead of just focusing on the Lord and allowing Him to bring about godliness in my marriage and family. Ouch, ouch, and ouch again. 

Do you have idols in your heart? Maybe yours are different from mine but examine your heart and cast away any competing affections. 

Thou shalt have no other gods before me...Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God... -Exodus 20:3&5

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Sweet and Not Bitter

Ok it's confession time... 


I had a terrible week. I was mean to my husband and although I worked really hard at being involved with my children, my heart wasn't in it. My girls had a fun week, and they had mommy's attention. But I was on edge, and not as patient with them as I could of been. 


I tried to be nice to my hubby, I tried to just act like everything was fine. Then he'd do something like turn the TV, on when I was trying to keep it off, and I'd feel like he was the worst husband ever. Yes I know I was being completely irrational. But it seemed like no matter how hard I tried, he just couldn't do anything right. I prayed on it, I sought God on it, and I asked for strength. Nothing. I asked God to show me why I was so bitter, and to help me to forsake it. Nothing. I resolved to just smile through it........ That didn't last long. 


Then one night while I was cooking dinner I was listening to a radio show on Revive Our Hearts called A God-Sized Picture of Marriage and the speaker, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, was explaining the point of marriage. She said:

"Now, I don’t know why you got married or what your hopes and expectations were that day, or what they may be today years later, but I have news—in case you haven’t discovered it already—and that is that marriage is not first and foremost about you. It’s not that you can’t enjoy a happy and blessed marriage. You can, and I believe that pleases the Lord for you to do that. But the greatest blessings of marriage come as a byproduct of seeking something else. 

You see, marriage was intended by God to display in neon His covenant love. It’s supposed to be a Technicolor picture of redemption. Your marriage is supposed to point people to Christ. It’s supposed to draw them like a magnet to the gospel, to know the love of God, to see that love lived out in two imperfect people who have a great God at the heart of their marriage."

Well that just pierced my heart. I was NOT treating my husband with the respect that he deserves. I was short with him, and I was rude. That's not the way to point anyone to Christ. That was showing selfishness, not love. I was marring the picture. 

Now my husband, on the other hand, was dealing with my attitude and not being rude back to me. He was doing his part. But that's not the way a relationship is supposed to work, we're BOTH supposed to be doing our parts. 

He wasn't happy because he knew I was unhappy. And you know, I still don't know why I was so upset with him to begin with. But I know what ever it was, it wasn't dealt with immediately and I allowed it to fester and create a break down in our relationship. I was being selfish and making it about me. When really, ultimately, it's about God!

The scriptures say, "Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established" -Proverbs 16:3

So while we do love our husbands because they are sweet, and handsome. We're supposed to love them even when they aren't so sweet and when their actions make them slightly less handsome; even if it is just in our heads. 

Being a wife is a "job" appointed by God, and we are supposed to act appropriately regardless of our feelings. So I've purposed to commit my works unto the Lord. I've gone to my husband and expressed the issues I was having and we're doing better. I still have my moments but they are way less often, and by the grace of God I am being much sweeter. My goal is to bring forth sweet water and not bitter! Because after all I can't do both. James 3:11-18 says:

"Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? ¹² Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh. ¹³ Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. ¹⁴ But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. ¹⁵ This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. ¹⁶ For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. ¹⁷ But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. ¹⁸ And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace."

I know it won't be easy but I can choose to love "because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." -Romans 5:5 

TBOC: Submission

Boy this one is a biggie and no one ever likes to talk about it... But The Lord has laid it on my heart so I'm going to go ahead and put myself out there. This is so important for more reasons than most of us usually think about.

According to scripture there is a chain of command.

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. -1 Corinthins 11:3

As you see it goes God, man, woman. Not that man is superior to woman, but that man covers the woman. It's been said that this is because Eve told Adam to eat the apple, and women needed to be "put in their place" so to speak.

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. -Gen 3:16

 That verse is after God confronts Adam and Eve about eating the fruit. The second to last part is so important; that our desires shall be to our husbands. So it's not about just him being our leader but also about us wanting him to be. Wanting him to help keep us in a relationship where we are obeying the Lord. I think for women submitting to men can be so against our nature. But God knows what's best and having us in a role of submission allows us to have a better relationship with HIM. I believe that is why scripture says:

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. -Ephesians 5:22-24

Marriage is supposed to be an earthly example of Christ and the church. So husband submit to God, and wife submit to your husband "as unto the Lord".  Do with that what you will. You can love it, or hate it, but I'm not one to argue with the Word of God.

I know there are always questions like "what about if your husband is not a believer", or "what if my husband isn't submitting to God"? To that I say if your husband isn't telling you to do anything that goes against God, then you still have to submit. The only time we can step out of "line" is to prevent sin. But even with that we should be in prayer about it. We should be asking God to take care of it so we don't have to. Because the important thing in all of this is obeying God.

How submission looks in every family will be very different. There is no cookie cutter way to submit, and the best thing for every woman to do is sit down and have a talk with your husband. Because no one else can tell you what's important to him.

Here is the part that you might not have thought about. I once heard a sermon on how God sometimes uses the relationship that we have with our children (or our parents) to teach us lessons about our relationship with Him. That really stuck out to me in so many ways, especially when I think back on my relationship with my parents.

Now that I'm a parent I spend a lot of time thinking about my relationship with my children. I've been thinking about the families that I've seen who have children who are well behaved and joyful and USUALLY the parents of these children are totally submitted to the Lord. The wives are joyfully submitted to God in their role as wife and mother, and the husbands are totally submitted to God in their role as husband and father. Then it hit me. That's it!

When we are submitted to God, doing His will, and seeking His heart that's when were are able to really "train up our children in the way they should go!" Unless our hearts are turned to God and seeking His will in our lives we can't teach our children anything.How can we expect our children to listen to us when we aren't listening to our Heavenly Father? We have to demonstrate joyful obedience and submission for our children. As moms that means we need to be joyfully submitting to our husbands and dads need to be joyfully submitting to God.

Some practical ways we can demonstrate this are:

• Talking with your children about decisions you are praying about
• Praying with your children about things you feel led to do. 
• Praising God with your children, especially when you have answered prayers. 
• Giving your children examples of how God has led you to do things that, and you did them.  

*Disclaimer: if you are being abused seek counsel from someone who is submitted to God. A pastor, pastor's wife, or just a godly women that you know. I am in no way advocating staying in or defending an abusive situation.*


I'm linking up at: Time-Warp Wife, Women Living Well, and A Wise Woman Builds Her Home