I also learned that it's easier to submit selectively, than to submit continually. But it's much more rewarding to submit continually. However, the MOST valuable lesson I learned was that I'm at my best when I'm weak.
You see my sweet little first born daughter walked up to me and said "mommy I'm sorry." I stopped my cleaning, looked at her confused, and asked for what? Her response? "For being bad to my sister." I asked her when had been she bad to her sister, because the poor "victim" was actually taking a nap. She began to tell me that last night she was being mean to her sister, she told me that they had been fighting and that daddy had to correct them. She told me she was so sorry, and that she didn't want me to be mad. I had no idea what she was talking about.
But I listened and I explained to her what repentance was. I told her that she needed to talk to God and ask Him to help her to not be mean to her sister anymore. Right there in the kitchen as I listened to my little girl pray for the Lord to help her, and to forgive her, my heart broke. I was reminded in that little kitchen that I am an awful mother. I will fail my precious children many times. But on those occasions when I am no good to anyone, Jesus will be all that they need. I can't be all things, I can't do all things, but I know who can.
I can tell my children to behave, I can encourage them to love each other. But until it becomes real to them and they decide to do it from their hearts, it's just for show. I can't make that change in their hearts. I am completely at a loss in that area. But Jesus can. He can make their hearts tender, and the more I give them Jesus the more He can do in their lives. Today I learned to delight in this weakness, because if I think I can do it all on my own, God will let me try and I'll fail miserably. But if I can recognize where I fall short and fill in the gaps with Him, then the sky is the limit to what can happen in my children's lives.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
-2 Corinthians 12:9-10
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