Perfect in Weakness

I decided to deep clean my kitchen today, and I learned a valuable lesson. Actually I learned a few. I learned that a toaster oven is much easier to clean as you use it, instead of waiting until it gets really messy. Much like sin. It's easier to deal with sin as soon as it happens rather than waiting until it has created a mess of your life. 

I also learned that it's easier to submit selectively, than to submit continually. But it's much more rewarding to submit continually. However, the MOST valuable lesson I learned was that I'm at my best when I'm weak. 

You see my sweet little first born daughter walked up to me and said "mommy I'm sorry." I stopped my cleaning, looked at her confused, and asked for what? Her response? "For being bad to my sister." I asked her when had been she bad to her sister, because the poor "victim" was actually taking a nap. She began to tell me that last night she was being mean to her sister, she told me that they had been fighting and that daddy had to correct them. She told me she was so sorry, and that she didn't want me to be mad. I had no idea what she was talking about. 

But I listened and I explained to her what repentance was. I told her that she needed to talk to God and ask Him to help her to not be mean to her sister anymore. Right there in the kitchen as I listened to my little girl pray for the Lord to help her, and to forgive her, my heart broke. I was reminded in that little kitchen that I am an awful mother. I will fail my precious children many times. But on those occasions when I am no good to anyone, Jesus will be all that they need. I can't be all things, I can't do all things, but I know who can. 

I can tell my children to behave, I can encourage them to love each other. But until it becomes real to them and they decide to do it from their hearts, it's just for show. I can't make that change in their hearts. I am completely at a loss in that area. But Jesus can. He can make their hearts tender, and the more I give them Jesus the more He can do in their lives. Today I learned to delight in this weakness, because if I think I can do it all on my own, God will let me try and I'll fail miserably. But if I can recognize where I fall short and fill in the gaps with Him, then the sky is the limit to what can happen in my children's lives. 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

                                                                                             -2 Corinthians 12:9-10

linking up with:

Being Momma

Lately  I've  felt like I wasn't giving my children enough. I know that sounds crazy since I'm a stay at home mom, but it's true. I found myself trying to just get through the day so I could have some peace and quiet. It seemed like the days were just rolling into each other and all I had was my quiet time after dinner when the kids were in bed. Maybe it was the training night shift my hubby was working, or maybe it was my attitude. But either way I had to take it to the Lord.

I started praying for the Lord to give me a love for my children like He has for them. One that doesn't grow tired of the noise or the needs. I cried out for Him to help me love them the way they needed to be loved.

Then it happened. During our dinner prayer I felt for the first time the little hand I was holding. I've held that same little hand at so many dinners. But that night it felt different. It was like I was holding her hand but she was holding my heart. All I could say was thank you God.

I thought I was doing a good job! But one night on my knees changed me. Suddenly every hug was important, every kiss worth more than gold. I finally saw my children as more than souls to be trained. They're also people to be enjoyed. I used to beat myself up when my children misbehaved, now I'm able to give us both grace.

That simple prayer changed my entire perspective, and opened my eyes to what I was missing. I'm finally in a place where I can s-l-o-w-d-o-w-n. I've spent this week  truly enjoying my children. And it was great!

Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:4-5

2 years and counting...

Two years ago today I was blessed to have been able to marry my very best friend! The Lord has blessed us beyond measure and I am so thankful to be called his wife. The day my hubby proposed to me I was heading to his apartment after I had left church one morning. When I arrived he had this posted on the door:

Anyone else would have figured it out, but not me. I read it and just though "yes he was reading his Bible today!" lol. I rushed in and headed straight for the bathroom. While I was in there he slipped a card under the door. The card said "Thinking of you" on the front, had some kind words, and Romans 12:12 printed in it. "Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer". For those that don't know, that was me! I wanted so badly to get married. Once I got saved I felt so much pressure to get married because I didn't want to continue on the path we were on. We had one child together and I was supposed to move in with him after he got his apartment. Once I got saved I knew I couldn't do that. But I so desperately wanted our family together. So even though living at home was hard I withstood it, even though it seemed so far away I was in prayer. I would visit and clean and decorate as though it was my home, just hoping and getting excited for the day it would be. 

Aside from what was already printed in the card he wrote: "Your unwavering & insurmountable show of love and affection has never gone unnoticed. And I never want to be noticed with out you by my side. -HB"

You'd think I would of surely figured it out by now, right? Nope. I just though awww how sweet. I came out of the bathroom and told him how sweet I thought the card was and I thanked him. Then all of a sudden he dropped down on one knee! I was so shocked and even then I couldn't believe it was really happening! Obviously I said yes and the rest is history :o)

We were married 3 months later and we've been growing together in the Lord ever since! Happy Anniversary Browning, I love you! 

Feel The Love

Ladies I have been having a GREAT WEEK! I've felt a renewed closeness to the Lord and just finally got it into my heart that Jesus loves ME! (He loves you too, but for the purpose of this post we're just going to be focusing on me lol)


I've known that God loves me ever since I got saved. But sometimes I struggled because it was a head knowledge. I know this, scripture says this, and my pastor preached it. But God has done something in my life. He's done the same thing for you too, and if you don't know about it you need to go and have a chat with Him. 


You want to know what He did? 


He died for me (and for you)! Thinking about this reminds me of the hymn that goes: For ME, He came and to death pursued, AMAZING LOVE! How can this be? That thou my HOLY GOD shouldst die for ME???? 


John 3:16 says: For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.


Whoseoever is ME!! (and YOU!!!!) It's a totally open invitation! God loves with a HOLY love. He became a man and took on all of my sins. ALL past, present, and future. 


Do you know why He did that?


Because He is SO Holy that in my own strength I could not come into His presence. But He wanted to fellowship with ME! With ME (and YOU) He wanted to have a relationship and I was so filthy and sinful that He couldn't. It was impossible, SO HE MADE IT POSSIBLE! Do you understand that? He wanted me, so He came and got me! He came here to earth for ME! 


I've struggled with this and questioned it from time to time. If that's you I encourage you to keep asking questions. But ask the ONE who truly has the answers. 


...be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive -Ephesians 4:14


Don't be turned to and fro by the philosophies of this world or of other religions. Don't worry about "religion"!* Put your focus on the One above and HE WILL DIRECT YOUR STEPS. 

I don't want to make this sound over simplified, because it takes time and we must wait on the Lord for His guidance. But man oh man having a heart knowledge of the love of God is an unbeatable feeling! Nothing compares to it. Having God's unconditional love means I don't have to look anywhere else for love. He provides it all. Having my husband love me, and my children love me is just bonus! I don't have to worry if people like me, because guess what? GOD LOVES ME! He cares about me and my life and my day to day. 


The best part about all of this (for you) is that He loves you too. If you don't know that you need get alone with God and grab hold of Him! Ask Him to show you the truth of His PERFECT LOVE so that you can know, that you know, that YOU KNOW, God loves you! 


Do you feel as on fire for the Lord as when you first got saved? If not you need to re-examine your heart. Do you really believe that God loves you? If you really believe that, and feel that, then you should be FIRED UP! Not lukewarm, but on fire! You shouldn't be able to contain what God has done for you. If you REALLY comprehend how much God loves you then you should be on a roof top somewhere! Because it is an AMAZING, PERFECT, UNTOUCHABLE LOVE, that no one can take away! This is my ONLY praise this week because truthfully.... It is more than enough!!!!! 



For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 8:38-39




 *Just so you don't get the wrong message, it's not that you don't need to go to church. Just that you don't need to worry so much about religious titles, and the doctrine's of men. Any church you attend should preach THE WHOLE Word of God and should be governed by the scriptures not doctrines made up by men. You shouldn't need any extra Biblical books to tell you the will of God. I just wanted to clear that up lest anyone think I'm encouraging them to leave church and just stay home alone and read their Bible alone. :o)

A Happy Home

Source

I was reading a blog the other day and the author mentioned a booklet by J.R. Miller called Secrets of Happy Home Life. Since I'm always aiming to have a happy home life I decided to check it out. I thought it was pretty good, but I don't remember everything that was in it. What I ended up with are two very real and applicable gems. 


The first was this quote:

"Suppose you went into an artist’s studio and saw a picture at which he had been working for months, yet unfinished; would you, not being an artist, take up his brush and begin to put touches here and there on the canvas? Each life of husband or wife, child, brother or sister, in your home is a picture which God is painting, and which is yet unfinished. Beware that you mar not His work! So let us be patient with one another at home. We all have our faults, we all make mistakes – but we can help each other more by loving patience, than by scathing criticism"

How often do we, as wives and mothers, grow impatient with our families short comings? I know I can't be the only one gets tired of reminding people of things. Like reminding my husband to pick up his socks, or reminding my daughter to flush the toilet. While these things are so small in the grand scheme of things, how we react to them is MAJOR. As scripture says "death and life are in the power of the tongue". {Proversb 18:21}


Our words carry so much weight and they can bring our families down or build them up. Just as we are told in Proverbs 14:1 "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands."


Are the words you use daily building up your house? Are your words professing Godliness? I know this is something I struggle with and so I'm purposing to do better.  


The next quote that actually helps with the first, even though this isn't the order that the booklet followed.

"If we are feeling uncomfortable from any cause, we have no right, according to the law of love, to diffuse our irritations through the household. If we are in any unhappy mood, in which we cannot suppress the ill-humor, we have no right to vent it in the circle of our loved ones, and would far better go to our own room, or out into the fresh air, alone, somewhere, and stay until we have gotten back our sweet spirit again, so that we can scatter roses, not thorns, among our loved ones."

When I'm having a bad day my whole family feels it. But my hubby is good about trying to pick up the energy when I'm lagging. But on the days we're both not doing so great, it's rough. I end up feeling like I'm in an uphill battle. 


But there is hope we don't have to be weary and frustrated. We don't have to scatter thorns. The reason why we feel frustrated is because we try to live a Godly life in our flesh. But we can't. We will fail every time. The only way to truly live a Godly life is to die to self and allow Christ to live through us. "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." {Galatians 2:20} 


So when you're feeling wearied in well doing, think on Galatians 6:9 "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." And go get alone with God. If you're in a season similar to mine that probably means you'll have to go into the bathroom, but hey God shows up where ever we are right?


Get alone with God and ask Him to fill you, to use you, to just take over it all! tell Him you can't do it, you know it's the truth, and so does He! So just tell Him and let Him work through you. Don't try to do it on your own. Lift your spirit by singing some hymns or psalms of praise and get your strength form the Creator of the universe! Then and only then can we build up our homes, and be sure that we are not speaking words of death, but rather words of life. With God's strength we can be sure to scatter roses. 


"My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever." -Psalm 73:26


I'm linking up with The Time Warp Wife an Women Living Well

Worth Fighting For

My family and I have never had it all together, we still don't. My husband got saved after I did (but before we got married) and he's been slow to come around. In the beginning it was just me taking the girls to church and trying to teach them the things of the Lord. But God came in right on time and my hubby is on fire for the Lord!

We've been studying together, praying together, and going to church together. I love getting to sit in church with my man. I used to be so jealous of those women who got to sit in service with their husbands by their sides. That was something I had to repeatedly go to God and ask forgiveness for. But since just giving it all to Him so much has changed. We have family worship time, as well as a time for just my hubby and I to get alone with God.

I don't want to give the impression that we're perfect, because we are FAR from being perfect. FAR. But I do want to give others hope. If you're a wife whose husband seems to be not stepping up to the challenge of being the spiritual leader of your family, there is hope. Let Proverbs 21:1 be your hope: "The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will."

God can turn the heart of your king. You just have to be willing to put the time in on your knees. Prayer is the most powerful weapon that we have. In church on Sunday our pastor said "it is in prayer where the battle is won!" And it's so true! When we try to make things happen in our flesh we will fail. every. time. But when we step back and wait on God to work, we can witness miracles.

Now that doesn't mean that we don't have to work, we do. We most certainly do. But our work is not to nag our husbands and try to change them. Were are supposed to follow the admonishment found in 1 Peter 3:1-2

"¹Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; ²While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear."

The word conversation in those verses isn't referring to our speech. It's about the way we carry ourselves what our husbands see in us. When we're at church or around other Christians its so much easier to "act right". But when we're at home and the dishes are piled up, the kids aren't behaving, and your husband has left his socks all around the house, that's when our true character comes out. That's when our husbands need to see us demonstrating the love of Christ. That is when we must extend grace.

It's not always easy but as you are praying for your husband, pray that God will show you anything that you have going on in your life that is hindering His work. Pray for any hidden sin to be revealed. Take your focus off of your husbands short comings and ask God to show you your own. When you take your focus off of your man, things will change. It won't be over night, and there will be set backs. It will be hard. But it's worth fighting for. 

I'm linking up with Women Living Well, Proverbs 31 Thursdays and A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Our Anniversary Day!

The day started out slow and I was convinced it was going to be uneventful. We woke up to the tail end of the storm and were just extremely thankful to have power! Many in our area are still without power still today. YHVH really sparred us from the effects of the storm.

Once the storm was officially over, hubs made the decision for us to try to get to church if it was possible. So he called and the van was able to come pick us up! We needed a few things so he went out to get them and I got the girls ready to go. When hubs came back home he had some fresh picked flowers for me. :o) I love flowers.

Then we went to church and got to fellowship and get prayer over our marriage and our family. But even more exciting than that..... We signed our ketubah!!!! So exciting! Its all I really wanted for this anniversary!

First hubby :o)

Then me :o)

(we also had our pastor sign and two witnesses)

The way we designed it, we have on one side our vows to each other in poem form and then on the other side our actual personal vows that we wrote to each other.

Our vows:

I, *Husband*, promise to love, honor, and protect Tewauna all the days of my life. I promise to always lead her in truth and provide for her. I promise to always be understanding and compassionate putting her needs before my own desires. I promise to guide our family in a manner that is pleasing to the Lord. I will train up our children in the way they should go and love them unconditionally. I promise to remain faithful to her until the day of my death. Through the enabling grace of God I will carry out these promises.

I, Tewauna, promise to love, honor, and obey *Husband* submitting to him as unto the Lord, putting his needs before my own desires. I promise to be his confidant and helper in all things. I promise to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and to always give to my family with all my heart, mind, and soul. I promise to live out our marriage covenant until the day of my death, forsaking all others and giving myself only to him. These promises I will carry out through God’s enabling grace.

The other portion read:

I join you to me forever. I join you to me in everlasting faithfulness. I will be your loving friend as you are mine. Set me as a seal upon your heart, like the seal upon your hand, for love is stronger than death. And I will cherish you honor you, uphold and sustain you in all truth and sincerity.I will respect you and the divine image within you. I take you to be mine in love and tenderness. May my love for you last forever.May we be consecrated, one to the other, by these rings. Let our hearts be united in faith and hope. May our hearts beat as one in times of gladness as in times of saddness. Let our home be built on The Word of God and loving-kindness. May our home be rich in wisdom and reverence.

And here is a picture of our ketubah :o)

We had so much fun making this together and I'm just excited that we got to share the moment with our church family. Now to find a frame big enough....

A year ago today.....

A year ago today I legally gave my heart to my beloved husband. I say legally because he's had my heart long before then. We made promises to each other in the past, but this one is documented!

We got married at our church in a small ceremony. And I really do mean small. It was our pastor, his wife, and four of their children. Our then 1 1/2 year old daughter was our flower girl. My family was away and hubby's family lives out of state.

We initially had a big wedding planned, but then I got pregnant. Obviously we were struggling with not being married so we decided it was probably not best to keep waiting.

Sometimes I wish we had an amazing courtship story of being pure and saving our first kiss for our wedding. But we don't. I just pray our children will learn from our mistakes and not make the same ones.

This first year of marriage has had its ups and downs. We've definitely had to spend a lot of time getting used to actually being married. Plus having two children. We certainly didn't do any of this the easy way.

Nonetheless I am extremely thankful for my husband and excited for the future that's ahead of us. He brightens my life and is the secret behind my smile. I pray that this next year we are able to draw closer to each other by drawing closer to YHVH.

We don't have any exciting plans. We're actually under a hurricane AND a tornado watch. We are one of the many families on the East Coast in the path of Irene. If you are also please know you are in our prayers.

We did plan to renew our vows and sign a nice pretty ketubah (that we designed) but with the impending storm I'm not sure if we'll make it to church. (We still have no car, so it all depends on if someone can pick us up)

As for now our plans are just to make it through the storm. But at least we'll be together :o)

Amazing

YHVH never ceases to amaze me! I wanted to share this scripture with you all that just really spoke to my heart today.

Isaiah 56¹Thus saith the LORD, Keep ye judgment, and do justice: for my salvation is near to come, and my righteousness to be revealed.
 ²Blessed is the man that doeth this, and the son of man that layeth hold on it; that keepeth the sabbath from polluting it, and keepeth his hand from doing any evil.
 ³Neither let the son of the stranger, that hath joined himself to the LORD, speak, saying, The LORD hath utterly separated me from his people: neither let the eunuch say, Behold, I am a dry tree.
 ⁴For thus saith the LORD unto the eunuchs that keep my sabbaths, and choose the things that please me, and take hold of my covenant;
 ⁵Even unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters: I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off.
 ⁶Also the sons of the stranger, that join themselves to the LORD, to serve him, and to love the name of the LORD, to be his servants, every one that keepeth the sabbath from polluting it, and taketh hold of my covenant;
 ⁷Even them will I bring to my holy mountain, and make them joyful in my house of prayer: their burnt offerings and their sacrifices shall be accepted upon mine altar; for mine house shall be called an house of prayer for all people.
 ⁸The Lord GOD, which gathereth the outcasts of Israel saith, Yet will I gather others to him, beside those that are gathered unto him.
 ⁹All ye beasts of the field, come to devour, yea, all ye beasts in the forest.
 ¹⁰His watchmen are blind: they are all ignorant, they are all dumb dogs, they cannot bark; sleeping, lying down, loving to slumber.
 ¹¹Yea, they are greedy dogs which can never have enough, and they are shepherds that cannot understand: they all look to their own way, every one for his gain, from his quarter.
 ¹²Come ye, say they, I will fetch wine, and we will fill ourselves with strong drink; and to morrow shall be as this day, and much more abundant.

We really serve an Amazing Elohim!

A Ribband of Blue...

On Easter Sunday my pastor gave a wonderful sermon that I've been meditating on for some time now. The sermon was on remembering and keeping God's commandments. Not in order for us to obtain and maintain salvation but rather to show our love for our savior and creator! I've been going back and forth on what God's will is for me and not being sure if I am clearly "hearing His voice", but sitting in church with my fiance by my side I realized that my WONDERFUL SAVIOR has been placing a burden on my heart to follow the things He has laid out before me.

"37And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

38Speak unto the children of Israel, and bid them that they make them fringes in the borders of their garments throughout their generations, and that they put upon the fringe of the borders a ribband of blue:

39And it shall be unto you for a fringe, that ye may look upon it, and remember all the commandments of the LORD, and do them ; and that ye seek not after your own heart and your own eyes, after which ye use to go a whoring:

40That ye may remember, and do all my commandments, and be holy unto your God.

41I am the LORD your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: I am the LORD your God." -Numbers 15:37-41

I will be keeping a "ribband of blue" on my blog to remind my self and others of the commands that our wonderful and loving God has given us. The commands aren't to hinder us but rather to help us grow. He knows what's best and I am striving to trust Him in ALL areas. I find when I'm reading my Bible that I am searching for what it is that God wants me to do. I'm constantly searching for direction. I am still a new Christian and I know that it will take a life time to even learn what all of the commands of God are. But there are areas in my life where I can firmly stand and begin my obedience.

I think it's only fitting that I start with learning and preparing myself to be a submissive wife. I'm currently studying this, reading and reviewing scriptures. I know that since God said it in His word He means it.

Another area that I've been focusing on is praising God. I want to be certain that I am honoring Him in all that I do and that I am properly showing Him praise. Past studies have shown me that there is an incorrect way to praise Him, and that's not a mistake I want to make!

This journey has taught me SOOOO much and I'm so excited to keep learning. I know I've been away for awhile but I'm back and even more hungry for my Lord than before!

Yours in Christ,
Tee