Our Eyes are Upon Thee

In life we all go through trails. But how we deal with them is what really matters. I was reading in 2 Chronicles 20, last night, and I realized some things. When Jehoshaphat had a problem, he turned to the Most High. The example he set is one that can bless us when we are going through life's trials.

...Jehoshaphat feared and set himself to seek the Lord... {vs 3}

Jehoshaphat got everyone together, stood before the Lord, and he 
-Praised the Lord {vs 6-7}
-Thanked the Lord and claimed promises from the Lord {vs 8-9}
-Pleaded with the Lord for help {vs 10-12}

He didn't go to the Lord with an ego, or pride. He didn't blame the Lord. Instead is trusted in Him! The end of verse 12 he says "neither know we what to do: our eyes are upon thee." He was totally surrendered to the Lord. How often when we are in times of turmoil do we have pity parties or let it rattle our trust? I know I am completely guilty of that! But not Jehoshaphat. He fixed his eyes, just as we should, on the God of the universe. 

Not only did he fix his eyes. He included all of Judah, even wives and children! {vs 13} We like wise should include our children. Don't be afraid to share the truth with them so that they may pray and have their faith strengthened! 

Once all this happened, God appeared. What He said totally changed me...

"Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God's....Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the Lord with you..." {vs 15 & 17}

That may not be the case for every battle we go through. There will be times we need to act. But more often than not the things we worry most about, are out of our hands! I know when things seem overwhelming to me I loose complete sight of all that God has previously done for me. I get panicky and fearful. But it's in those times that the Lord says, stand ye still. Because it is His battle, His name on the line. If you are His child and are called according to His purpose, then there is no need to worry. Because He will work it all out for good, for His glory! {Rom 8:28}

There is freedom there!!! Don't allow the enemy to steal your peace! If you are worrying about something, or afraid, set your eyes upon your Redeemer. Fix your eyes on Him and stand ye still. He will not fail you. 

...Believe in the Lord your God, so shall ye be established... -2 Chron 20:20

Then the phone rang...

It had been barely even 24 hours since I posted about having the faith to stay put, when your heart wants to go. I was giving the baby a bath and when I came out my husband was hanging up the phone. I was a little confused because the last little bit of the conversation I heard sounded like something was going on, and it was after 10pm.

He told me a very sweet friend we had met at Family Week was in need. Her husband and some other friends were at the airport and needed a place to stay for Shabbat. My husband had told her we couldn't help because we had no way to transport 8 people to our home. But I said oh no Hashem will provide a way, and called her back! (with his blessing of course)

After some back and forth we decided that they would stay one night in a hotel and if there were still issues they would come to us for Shabbat, bezrat Hashem.

That night we prayed that if it was His will that we would get to host these people in our home. We weren't sure what that would look like but we were willing to give it a try.

The next morning they called and decided that half of them would come to our home over night and half of them would try again to get on their flight. Money was tight but we just moved forward in faith. As my husband was getting ready to leave he went to check the mail. Lo and behold there was a check there that we weren't expecting to for at least a week! It was such a blessing, and it meant that we were now able to provide a better experience for our guests.

We don't have any extra bedrooms, so we moved our children into our room and prepared the children's room for our guests. It was kind of like camping, which thankfully our guests didn't mind.

We had a sweet time of fellowship and there was plenty of food and snacks to go around! When they left I felt edified and like we truly opened ourselves up to be used by Hashem to bless His people. I am so thankful for that. It was just like a little wink and nudge to let me know that He sees my heart and that if I just stay open to being used by Him, He will use me in His own way.

Staying put may not always be what we want to do, but it's not about us. It's about Him! Plus there are people all around you that are in need. Whether it be physical or spiritual, there are areas where you can serve and be used.

A week or so after our guests left we had another family over for dinner who was having a rough time. We wanted to be a blessing and we were. A few weeks after that my husband was able to go and help a family, who had been homeless, paint their new home so they could move in quickly.

We may be called to stay here, but I'm learning that we are still called to serve. It may not look how I thought it would, but it looks exactly how my Abba wants it.

Love and blessings,

What's in a name....

In keeping with the theme of Elul I want to share something with you....

A few years ago I went through a very trying time. I even stopped blogging for a bit. I spent a lot of time searching and crying out to Hashem. So much changed in me and yet everything around me stayed the same. During that time I was comforted by stories of those who had to "wrestle" with HaShem or who were called according to His purpose. 

Often times after going through something with HaShem the person became different. Their faith was changed, their lives were changed. But not only that, their names were changed as well. There was a complete dying of the "old man". This is what I experienced. My heart was knit to HaShem's in a whole new way.

During this time I took on a Hebrew name. I only shared it with some, though I toyed with the idea of changing it legally. I still may some day.

It's something deeply personal and yet something that if I want to use it I need to be open about. I've used my Hebrew name in certain settings and have come to the place where I would like to use it more frequently.

My Hebrew name is Chana Elisheva. Chana means compassionate or graceful, which I desperately needed from Hashem at the time. His compassion and grace is all that got me through that time, and still what gets me through every day. Elisheva is two things; Eli means my God and sheva/sheba means oath.

I serve an Elohim that is compassionate and full of grace, He is my oath.

This all comes full circle, sort of, with the birth of our son. We had a first name picked put for him long before he was conceived. Our children's names follow an abc pattern, which started out accidentally, so we knew his name would start with a C. His middle name we had decided would be Zephaniah. We were settled. Then one day I was reading in 1 Samuel and as I read I came to the name Shemuel {heard of God/asked of God}. I knew then that was to be our son's middle name. He was after all an answer to prayer.

A while after we had settled on his middle name being Shemuel, I realized the deeper significance in his name. As the biblical Channah prayed for a son and was given a Shemuel. I knew this when we picked it but it didn't deeply affect me until later on. After all the struggle, after all the searching, this was my gift. This was an answer to my prayers.

It's about more than a child though. So much changed with the birth of our son. Our family is different. Our goals are different. We are even more committed to serving Hashem, to learning His ways, to proclaiming His goodness. It is only because of Him that we are where we are.

Therefore if any man be in Messiah, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

-2 Cor 5:17

Life right now....

Shalom friends! These last few months have been a whirlwind of excitement and changes for us. There have been so many times I wanted to sit down and update you all but then something else tugs at me. I realized that in not sharing I was not proclaiming all the blessings that Hashem is bestowing on our family. So here I go....

I mentioned back in March that we had a great congregation that we were enjoying and that things were going well. Together we had an amazing Purim with lots of delicious food, fellowship, and the reading of the megillah Esther.

After the excitement of Purim we move into the season of Pesach! We were very excited about Pesach and had been hoping that we could go to HaYovel's Family Week. But it was looking impossible. Not only would my husband need to get a week off from work, but we also needed to be able to fund the trip. The closer it got the more disappointed I got, because it seemed impossible. Some friends suggested that we contact HaYovel and let them know our situation and see if they could help us get there. I figured it was a long shot but I contacted them anyway. Well guess what?!?! They said they could help! So a week before it was time to leave we started packing up with no clue where we were going to sleep, but being willing to just sleep in the car! We continued in prayer and packed up everything we thought we would need. Then dear friends of ours offered to buy us a tent! And not just any tent a really nice 10 person tent!!!! It was just so amazing! Baruch Hashem!!!

So after everything was packed we hit the road for our 15 hour drive to Hardin, Kentucky. 

It was a looooong trip but the time we spent there was so amazing. It would take me months to write about all the amazing things that happened and the MANY blessing we received. We made life long friends and got to finally meet friends that we've known for awhile via the internet! Like Stephanie Brumlow from Our Wholehearted Family, Andi from By The Eastern Gate, and Susan Brendemuhl from Quiverfull of Kids, just to name a few! It was a life changing event to say the least!

our lodging for the week

We were able to have our Pesach seder with the Waller family from Betrothed, as well as my very dear friend that I have known for 5 years, but never met in person! There were also several other families that were in attendance. 

Pesach seder

The whole week was full of sweet fellowship and Divine appointments. We came home and felt like we didn't belong here anymore. And thus began our prayers for the Father to move us closer to the amazing people that we met and love so very dearly. We're not 100% sure when or how, but we know where we are called to be and are looking forward to getting there in HIS timing and by His grace!

I have so much more I want to share with you all, so be on the look out for more frequent posting!

Taste, and see that Hashem is good. How blessed are those who take refuge in him!  -Psalm 34:8

Serving a Faithful Elohim

photo credit

It wasn't that long ago that I was on my knees begging Abba for fellowship and friends. When we left our church it was scary and hard, but we did it by faith. The same is true of our prayers for a son, our home, and a plethora of other things. By faith we made the necessary steps to prove that we trusted and would accept what ever came our way. 

Now our lives are in a place that I honestly never could have imagined. We've joined a great congregation and are able to dig into the Word, as well as fellowship with like-minded believers every Shabbat.  We are happily raising 3 children to love YHVH and to serve Him with their lives. I see my 2 oldest children thinking of others and trying to be helpful and loving. One of my biggest concerns has always been that my children would be close to each other and it's just so amazing for me to watch how they try to take care of each other. Not that they're perfect but they love each other, and really what more could I ask for?

This past month we've had so many answers to prayer it's been mind blowing. It's just kind of been one thing after another and it's times like this that strengthen us all the more for times when things are really hard. 

After the birth of our son we had to make some decisions about circumcision. Not whether to do it, but who to have do it and how to afford it. Since it had to be done on the 8th day that made things slightly more complicated. Thankfully our midwives recommend a wonderful mohelet to us. This whole process has given me a whole new understanding of Tzipporah's struggle with circumcision {Exodus 4:24-26}. 

Once we called the mohelet and got everything set up the realization of what was going to happen set it. I told my husband "my inner momma bear came out". Because that's truly the only way I could describe it. I did a lot of praying and seeking in those few days before the brit and then on the day of I felt at peace. I knew we were obeying and so Abba would take care of us, which He did! From everything down to the financials we were taken care of in a way that only a loving Abba could. It was amazing. 

our son after his brit milah

We are just so happy and blessed and I truly believe that it is the fully undeserved chesed {loving-kindness}that a merciful and loving Abba pours out on us. We do our best to reciprocate that love by obeying but in all honesty we fall short SOOOO many times. But nevertheless HE IS STILL FAITHFUL! He has never forsaken us, even though truly we have deserved it! 

So that is what is going on around here. We are so thankful for the way Abba manifests Himself to us and we are forever indebted to Him. He is our all in all! 

But I am like a green olive tree in the house of Elohim: I trust in the mercy of Elohim for ever and ever. I will praise thee for ever, because thou hast done it: and I will wait on thy name; for it is good before thy saints. Psalm 52:8-9

He's Finally Here! (My Birth Story)

Colton Shemuel

This pregnancy was long. I was really at the end of my rope and being that I was 41.6 weeks along I knew that a medical induction was looming around the corner. My midwives were awesome and wanted to do everything they could to help me avoid it, there was even talk of acupuncture! But after getting my ultrasound on Monday afternoon we decided to move forward with a castor oil induction, because my fluids were low and hadn’t risen since my ultrasound on Friday. 

I took the castor oil around 5:30pm and just waited for something to happen. At first I felt fine but maybe a little crampy. So I decided to make dinner and get the family taken care of before I was in a place where I couldn’t. We ate dinner around 7:30pm and then I decided to try to get some rest just in case. I fell asleep around 8:30pm just feeling a little crampy. I finally woke up at around 11:45pm but only because my husband woke me up to talk. Then the castor oil side effects hit! I’ll save you the gory details but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I wasn’t running to the bathroom or anything like that, it was surprisingly very manageable. 

Around 12am I started having some contractions that were nice and deep (and painful!) but not very close together. So we just kind of kept hanging out then at around 1:30/2am I started having contractions that I couldn’t bear. Once they got to 5 minutes apart I called my midwife, that was around 3am and she listened to me through a contraction and decided to come over. Once she got here around 3:45am things started to move quickly. I labored in bed and just kept working through the contractions. Then all of a sudden my body just started pushing! I had never experienced this before because both of my previous births were medicated. After a few pushes my water broke, it wasn’t a gush but more of a trickle. With each contraction my body just naturally pushed and I went with it. Although at first I was a little confused lol. My midwife suggested that I get on all fours and see if that was more comfortable than my side. It was for awhile so I pushed like that until my arms got too tired. At some point the back up midwife and a student midwife arrived but I was in my birth zone so I have no idea when that happened. 

When I was too tired to hold myself up anymore I rolled onto my side and my husband was helping to hold one of my legs up. That was when the real fun began! With each push I could feel the baby coming down. When I got to the point of the “ring of fire” I was relieved that it was no where near as bad as I thought it would be! Not that it didn’t hurt, it just wasn’t what I expected. The hardest part was that while he was crowning I didn’t have a contraction. So he was just hanging out and stretching me for awhile. Which looking back was a good thing even though I was like “someone please help me!” My midwife suggested nipple stimulation to try to bring on a contraction which helped and then I was able to push some more. I delivered each part of him with a push! He didn’t just slide out like my other two, but I’m sure that’s because he was so much bigger than they were! 

Our baby boy was born at 5:44am January 28th weighing 9lbs! I 100% believe that this birth went as smoothly as it did because I was in constant prayer. With each contraction I prayed for my Abba to be with me and to help me through it. With each push I quietly called on His Name. It was exactly what I needed to do in order to stay focused. Everyone commented after the birth about how peaceful it was. It was my first time having a baby unmedicated and it was perfect!

Little Blessings

This week's prep day was really hard for us. It felt like we'd never get there. It was just one thing after the other and everyone was stressed out. I had a doctor's appointment which totally put a kink in our plans, and then when I got home I had forgotten to stop at the store! 

I so wanted this shabbat to be special. Our last few have been a bit rough and didn't go as we had hoped. We weren't getting the full shalom of Elohim's presence! Thankfully it's not up to us to make shabbat holy, but we do need to fully enter into His rest. 

In spite of all of the struggles I was determined to make sure that we fully opened ourselves up to welcome the Divine. So as my hubby ran out to grab a few things I set the table and lit the candles. I even let each of my girls light their own candles for the first time. Then we sang L'cha Dodi and the girls danced around the kitchen. 

Once my husband came home it was time for kiddush and the blessings. But before he started he gave another attempt at blowing our shofar. In the past he had not been able to get any sounds out of it. It always sounded like he was just blowing air through a tube. He's practiced and practiced but still he wasn't able to get it. So much so that he wasn't even really interested in trying to blow it for real tonight. But with a little prompting he gave it another shot. 

At first it just sounded like air. But then it happened. The most beautiful sound came out of it, he finally did it! We were all so excited and it just felt like the most perfect start to having a wonderful shabbat. After that my hubby proceeded to bless us all and it was exactly what we had hoped for. 

Sometimes in life we just need those little blessings. Those things that happen and let us know that we are not forgotten. That Abba hears our cries, and knows our hearts. When we delight ourselves in the Most High then He is faithful to give us the desires of our heart. {Psalm 37:4}

Press on and faint not my friends. Look for the little blessings and be renewed in His strength! 

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. -2 Corinthians 4:16

This is what it's all about!

Painting by Urban Renaissance

Today it was another day like before. We were doing a good job of sticking to our schedule and getting everything done. I was working through school work and we started doing our devotional. It was on Revelations 21:1-7 

"And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful. And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son."

So naturally from there we talked about salvation and how our sins keep us away from God, but that Yeshua {Jesus} came to take away our sins so that we could be with God. Well my 4 year old (she'll be 5 next month) looked at me with so much remorse in her eyes and said "I want Jesus to forgive my sins so I can be with God". 

I asked her about her sins, and she told me what they were. Not obeying, pushing her sister, etc. Then I asked her if she deserved to be away from God and I could see that it hurt her to say yes. You could see her getting it but she just didn't want to say it. Who does? That moment when you realize that you are a sinner in need of a Savior is hard for even grown ups! Finally she said "yes, I deserve to be away from God" quickly adding "but I don't want to be". She even asked me if she could pray and ask Jesus to take her sins away. I told her we'd talk about it later. 

There have been times in the past where I thought she got it. But not like this. This time it brought tears to my eyes! I had to walk away. I sent a quick message to a friend seeing if she also came to the same conclusion that I did. My friend agreed that she seemed ready. So I decided I'd talk to my hubby about it and let him handle it. In the past I've said it to him and he's said she's too young. Just let the thought stay with her. But in my heart I've always though back to Matthew 18 "... Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

When my husband came home for lunch I pulled him aside and told him what had happened. I was holding back tears as I recalled the look on our daughters face. I KNOW she understood, and she was serious. This time he agreed with me. based off of what I told him there was no denying it. So he said he'd pray about it and talk to her in the evening. 

After dinner he sat down with her and asked her about her day. She told him all the things she learned and what she thought was most exciting. Then he asked her about our Bible lesson today. She said "oh yea, we talked about Jesus and how he takes our sins away". Then with a little bit of frustration in her voice she added "I wanted to pray but mom told me we'd talk about it later". I didn't even think waiting would matter to her. But clearly it did. He then told her a little bit of his testimony. I sat there listening from the other room just in awe of the situation and how my prayers for my children to know the Lord from a young age were being answered. As he continued on she said "daddy, I really want to pray. I want Jesus to take my sins away." There was no stopping her. 

I sat there and listened as they prayed together, and my sweet little girl asked for Jesus to enter her heart. When they were finished she was beaming! I came in the room and she said "Mommy I prayed and Jesus took my sins away!" She was just so happy. I reminded her that it doesn't mean she'll be perfect now, but that when she messes up she still need to pray. She nodded her head in agreement and just continued smiling at me. 

In that moment I was just so humbled. If you asked me a week ago about the spiritual state of my children I would have told you I was failing. I would have told you that we try but I don't think it's sinking in. They fight, they fuss, I'm still working on first time obedience, and it's hard. But then when I least expect it, the Lord answers one of my hearts deepest desires! It's not about me. I am always going to fall short, but He is faithful! 

I know that as the years go by she will question her choice. Maybe she'll even want to rededicate herself to the Lord. But right now because of her child like faith and her heart being open to hear from the Lord, her name is written in the Lamb's book of life! No matter what may come her way that won't change, because of that not only am I rejoicing, but so are the angels!

Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth. -Luke 15:10

if you'd like to know more about what it takes to be saved please go here

Giants in The Faith

We all have them. People we absolutely look up to as the ideal Titus 2 or Proverbs 31 woman. But it's all to easy to get a little distracted by their "greatness".

I was reflecting on this while I was washing dishes the other night. I started thinking about this lady who I think is just so amazingly awesome. I was reflecting on how well her children have turned out and just the blessings that have been heaped upon her family. Which led to me kind of beating myself up a little. But then a thought came to me. A thought that was clearly from Abba because I was well down the road to self pity! 

What exactly has she done? In her younger years while she was still in the stage that I am in she just did what YHVH called her to do. She loved her husband and her children. She did the same things every day and put in the work to train up her children in the way they should go. 

We all have probably been guilty of putting people on a much higher pedestal than they deserve. I'm pretty sure if you asked any one who you look up to about what it is that makes them who they are, they would glorify the Creator. They would tell you how He carried them through when they thought they would just pass out from the weight of life. 

You may look at their husbands and say oh my he's such a great leader, or look at that ministry. But what you don't realize is the time that she spent on her knees to pull that off. No married man can have a successful ministry without the support of his wife. 

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. -Proverbs 31:23

You may look at her children and say oh my they are so obedient and respectful. But what you didn't see is the HOURS AND HOURS of training that had to take place. Or the moments where that very same woman was about to break down because she thought she couldn't take it another day. Until the Almighty stepped in and gave her strength. 

That same woman that you look at and think I can NEVER be that, did exactly what she was called to do.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things... -Titus 2:3

She did what YHVH told us would lead to these blessings. I say none of this to take away from these women. Because we NEED them. YHVH tells us that we need the older women to teach the younger. 

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. -Titus 2:4-5

I say this to encourage you (and me) that it's hard now, and we may feel like we're not accomplishing anything. But if we keep at it then we will see the fruits of our labors. So hang in there and be encouraged, because the best is yet to come. :o)

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. -Glatians 6:9

The Unborn Baby and The Biblical Feasts

Someone posted a video (see below) on facebook about how human gestation correlates to the Biblical feasts. This wasn't a new idea to me as I have read about it in the book, Everything Old is New Again, by Renee Stein.

But no matter how many times I hear about this, I'm still amazed. It is just the most maginificant thing to me. So I thought I would share it with you. This first video is the one I saw on fb. I don't know who the creators of the video are, and I have no affiliation with them. (just for the record)

This next video is the full Zola Levitt message. He goes further into detail about each feast and it's correlation. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. -Psalm 13:14

Big Changes {Part 2}

If you haven't read part 1 go check that out and then com back to this one :o) 


We started attending our new fellowship full time in February. But then we had to stop because of the car situation. Thankfully though we were still able to listen in and keep up with the studies. It felt like forever that we were with out a car. But really it was like a month and half. 

Once we got a new car, my hubby got a new job, and things started getting back to normal. Then all of a sudden we were presented with an opportunity to move! We had been praying for a long time about moving. We needed more space and our neighborhood was terrible. So when we saw that we could we were so excited. But it had to happen quickly. Which is not always an easy thing, especially when you're pregnant!

SURPRISE! That's change number 3. We're expecting! So not only did we need more space for our family of 4, now we really needed more space since we're adding a fifth member to our family. Isn't it just so amazing how YHVH always answers at the exact right time. 

We are loving our new place. But I'm still not done getting everything set up, as I've been really sick. I'm one of the lucky few who get Hypermesis Gravidarum (aka extreme morning sickness). So I've been kind of out of commission. Which is also part of why I haven't been blogging. But thankfully I am starting to feel better. 

This year has been so full of changes and growth. We've had some set backs, some times of utter confusion, we've lost friends, and we've gained friends. But all in all we have seen YHVH's hand and we have been so blessed! 

I'm looking forward to having people over and being able to open up our home to others. Maybe even host a dinner for one of the feasts! We'll have to see what YHVH allows, but I'm praying that our home will be a blessing to others as well as to us. 

Now you're all caught up on what has been going on and I'm more convinced than ever that when we decide to follow after YHVH and seek His will in our lives, that He will direct our paths! 

Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of Elohim, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. 

Matthew 6:33

Big Changes {part 1}

Wow, I've been guilty of disappearing for awhile, but this time around was a little excessive! Sorry ya'll! We've had SO much going on that blogging just took a back seat.

This year has been full of ups, downs, twists and turns! Which shouldn't be a shocker since my family and I started the year with this declaration. I mean when you say that you're going to follow YHVH blindly and just go where He leads, you might as well expect some changes.

I've blogged about a bunch of the things that have gone on this year, but there are three big things I haven't shared yet.

The first is that we left our church. This one was HARD. But we sat in service, after service, and listened to our pastor preach on Truth or Tradition. Over, and over, he asked will we stand for God's truth or for our own traditions... Talk about conviction. Now he wasn't talking about Hebrew Roots, but none the less Abba used that to work in our hearts. It was amazing. This same topic was preached on for what felt like forever, and at pretty much every service! I think I felt the itch before my hubby but I just kept quiet and prayed. When I finally asked my hubby if he was making the same connections as I was he said he was. But just wasn't sure what to do. So again I was just quiet and in prayer.

Then one night I was chatting with a dear friend, and telling her how I was feeling. I told her about the messages, how there was no where for us to go, and how lonely I felt. She encouraged me to just wait and pray so I did. Only I didn't have to wait that long. The next day someone sent me a facebook friend request. But I didn't know them. Turns out  she was another believer that was local to me! But she didn't know that because my location isn't on FB. We started chatting about fellowship and when I told her that we didn't go anywhere for our Shabbat fellowship, she invited us to join her family!

My husband is usually VERY hesitant about going to new places, and especially in this situation of going to someone's house, that we had never met. So when I mentioned it to him I was figuring he'd say no. Well surprise, surprise! He said yes! That next Shabbat we head over to meet with her family, and really enjoyed the teaching and fellowship. We then went to church as normal on Sunday. But Sunday night, after the evening service, my hubby was washing dishes and I was sitting in the living room with the girls. All of a sudden he came into the living room and said "we're not going back to the church." I said "ok, like on Wednesday we're not going back?" "No, we're not going back ever."

That was it, no explanation. I didn't know what to think or say. So I didn't say anything. When we discussed it later that evening he told me that he felt YHVH was telling him not to go back. He said he stood there questioning it for a second, and then was just like if this is what I believe YHVH is telling me why am I fighting it. So I said ok, and we agreed to just continue going to our new found Shabbat fellowship.

I don't want to make this post too long, so stay tuned for part 2 :o)

Bloom where ever you're planted

Abba has been really been dealing with me about something. I was thinking it over and felt like I should share, so I pray it's a blessing to someone...

We all have plans and ideas of what we want for ourselves and our families. We pray about them, and we line things up to get to that place. There's nothings "wrong" with doing that. We should have a vision. After all the Scriptures say "where there is no vision, the people perish"! {Prov 29:18} But the danger comes in when that is our only focus. When we look forward so much that we forget to look around.

I was having one of those periods where I was ONLY looking forward, and quickly got discouraged because we are so far from the goal. I spoke to two good friends about how I was feeling and they both gave me advice that I mulled over and committed to prayer.

One of them told me that it's a daily journey to that goal and that I just need to take it one day at a time. As I was praying YHVH was showing me that I need to bloom where I am planted and work with what I have. I can't expect to be in the same place as someone who has been walking this road for 20+ years when I've only just begun. He is faithful and if I continue on He will continue on. I just have to focus on the now and plant the seeds so that one day there will be fruit.

But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully. -2 Cor 9:6

Just like a tree takes years to grow, so do we and our families. It takes time, water (the Word), and sun (love). If we put in the time then He will put in the blessing to allow for a great reward. It's about the little choices you make, every single day. Keep your goal in mind and make the little changes necessary to get there. Seek YHVH and ask for His help.

 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith YHVH, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. -Jer29:11-13

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For as Oft as Ye Eat...

via google

About a month ago my family and I sat at our Shabbat table to break bread, and I was angry. I felt like my husband didn't help me prepare, and we were late! I was so upset, that I just sat there trying not to look in his direction. He read the Eshet Chayil (Prov 31:10-31) blessing over me and I was still angry. He blessed the children and I sat there just stewing. I was being so awful. Then I heard my Abba whisper to me "you can't enter my rest angry". I never really even thought about that before, we've always carried on with our normal routine no matter how we are feeling. Never really thinking how that may affect our time resting in YHVH. But as I reflected on it these verses came to mind. 

 For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do shew the Lord's death till he come. Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup. For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. -1 Corinthians 11: 26-29

Until that point I had NEVER looked at our Shabbat tradition as communion. I never really put that together. But in fact it is just that. It is the breaking of bread in remembrance of Yeshua. 

So before my hubby broke the bread I stopped him and told him that I needed to apologize. He already knew I was mad so that wasn't a shock, but once I explained to him what Abba had revealed to me I think we both realized that we were on the cusp of something really important for our family. 

Right there, in front of our children, I confessed my sins and asked for his and their forgiveness. After that I felt fully free to enter into the sabbath and enjoy the rest provided by YHVH. We now make it a point to be in good spirits and right standing with each other (and Elohim) as we enter into Shabbat. It's so amazing what the Ruach HaKodesh {Holy Spirit} can do when we allow YHVH to work in our lives. 

The things we do shouldn't just be vain traditions. Every thing we do in the name of YHVH should be drawing us closer to Him and producing godliness in us. Learning that lesson has greatly transformed all that I do. 

For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. -Phillipians 1:15

Blessings in the Storm

image via google

My family has been battling something wicked these last few days. On late Wednesday night/early Thursday morning our girls both woke up with bad coughs. I gave the oldest a honey and raw garlic mix and the youngest my previously mentioned cough remedy. Followed by some warm tea for both. Well, our oldest didn't do so well and began to throw up.

After changing sheets, and giving instructions on aiming for the garbage we placed next to her bed, everyone went to sleep. The next  day the girls were feeling AWFUL they just laid in bed and drifting between sleep and being awake. I'm pretty sure its the quietest our house has ever been. After getting some advice from a friend, I began rubbing the soles of their feet with eucalyptus oil. Then I got a message saying that a few people from our church had the flu! With how quickly it came on and the severity of it I'm 90% sure it was the flu for the girls too. Thursday night the youngest got even worse and started throwing up. So I decided to try to get out early in the morning before the blizzard started to get some elderberry syrup.

I woke up late, and snow was already falling but I really felt strongly that the girls needed something to help them out. So I rushed out to whole foods, despite the snow. I found what I needed and was heading back home, when our truck broke down less than 3 miles from home! I tried not to panic, and called my parents to see if they could call someone in the area to help me out. As I sat in the car I was determined not to cry. I began singing every praise song I could remember and dancing to try and stay warm. Cars zipped by, snow kept falling, and I kept watching my rear-view mirror. I was a little afraid but I just kept reminding myself that  YHVH is in control.

When I couldn't sing songs by memory any more I turned on the cd player and played Faithful God on repeat! Finally, about 30 or more minutes later, a friend of my dad came to get me. He tried to jump the car, and when that didn't work he called a tow truck. I said a quick prayer because I could not afford to pay for a tow truck. Turns out he had Triple A and because I lived less than 3 miles away the tow was free! Once I got home I thawed out a little then started giving the girls the elderberry tincture I purchased. The oldest was starting to feel better, but the younger one was still looking like a  she was out of it. They both had fevers and I just wanted them to be better. I gave them the tincture 4 times on Friday and my husband prayed over them. We had both been praying and seeking wisdom on how to handle this, but it was looking so bad he decided to hold them and pray for healing.

Late Friday night/early Saturday evening the oldest woke me up to tell me she felt better! I didn't want to put to much stock in that but we woke up Saturday morning to, 38 inches of snow, and two bubbly playful girls! Just like that YHVH had healed them. I have never seen the flu last for just two days! He showed us exactly what we needed to get to help heal them. So many prayers were answered in these last few days that all I can do is praise HIM! I'm so thankful that my girls are better and that the car situation wasn't worse. Oh and even better once the snow is all clear one of my dad's friends is going to come look at it for us. I'm not even worried about it though because I know my faithful Elohim will take care of us. 

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. -Psalm28:7

Must See

I saw this video on Shabbat and it is a MUST SEE! I could say so much, but it really speaks for itself. It's the message that was given at  the inaugural prayer breakfast for President Obama. I was so shocked by things that were stated in this message. I think its an important message for everyone to hear. I just pray it doesn't fall on deaf ears. 

The Greatest Love Story of ALL Time

The first time I realized the powerful truth of this message, I cried. I pray that it would be a blessing to you also.... 

As most of us know David was a man after God's own heart and served Elohim faithfully. Unfortunately his son Solomon was not as faithful and he lead Israel away from Adonai. 

For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father.... Wherefore the Lord said unto Solomon, Forasmuch as this is done of thee, and thou hast not kept my covenant and my statutes, which I have commanded thee, I will surely rend the kingdom from thee, and will give it to thy servant. -1 Kings 11:4,11

Because of Solomon's sins the tribes were then split up into two groups; the Northern Kingdom (which is referred to as Israel) and the Southern Kingdom (which is referred to as Judah). Then each of the tribes went off further into sin. So Adonai divorced the Northern Kingdom. 

And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8

Despite having gotten a divorce Adonai STILL loved Israel. Being the Good Shepherd that He is, he began to search for His lost sheep.

For thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day. And I will bring them out from the people, and gather them from the countries, and will bring them to their own land, and feed them upon the mountains of Israel by the rivers, and in all the inhabited places of the country. I will feed them in a good pasture, and upon the high mountains of Israel shall their fold be: there shall they lie in a good fold, and in a fat pasture shall they feed upon the mountains of Israel. I will feed my flock, and I will cause them to lie down, saith the Lord God. -Ezekiel 34:11-15

I will surely assemble, O Jacob, all of thee; I will surely gather the remnant of Israel; I will put them together as the sheep of Bozrah, as the flock in the midst of their fold: they shall make great noise by reason of the multitude of men. -Micah 2:12

But there is a BIG PROBLEM! God DIVORCED Israel and according to HIS WORD He cannot marry her again...

When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the Lord: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.-Deuteronomy 24:1-4

So Elohim's OWN law FORBIDS Him from remarrying Israel. What then is He to do??? Let's look at some facts...

The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. -1 Corinthians 7:39

For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection: Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. For he that is dead is freed from sin. -Romans 6:5-7


For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. -Romans 7:2-3

Do you see it yet? Do you see how much Elohim loves Israel? LOVES YOU! Yeshua {Jesus} came in order to DIE to free us from THAT law. So that we are no longer adulteresses, and could be RIGHTFULLY RECONCILED with the Father!!! Because He died, and then rose we are able to remarry Him as the SPOTLESS BRIDE! 





 But he {Yeshua} answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel. -Matthew 15:24

That at that time ye were without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world: But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ. For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us; Having abolished in his flesh the enmity, even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; for to make in himself of twain one new man, so making peace; And that he might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross, having slain the enmity thereby: And came and preached peace to you which were afar off, and to them that were nigh. For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father. Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God... - Ephesians 2:12-19

This is by far THE GREATEST LOVE STORY of all time.. and it's written to you and me, how awesome is that???