Showing posts with label helpmeet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label helpmeet. Show all posts

Thursday, November 15, 2012

On Submission and Idolarty

photo credit

Earlier today in my personal bible time I was reading in 1 Kings, when I came across a few different verses that later manifested themselves in my life. I'll list out the verses and then explain.


For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father. For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Zidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. And Solomon did evil in the sight of the Lord, and went not fully after the Lord, as did David his father. -1 Kings 11:4-6

 But he forsook the counsel of the old men, which they had given him, and consulted with the young men that were grown up with him, and which stood before him: -1 Kings 12:8

And Asa did that which was right in the eyes of the Lord, as did David his father. And he took away the sodomites out of the land, and removed all the idols that his fathers had made. And also Maachah his mother, even her he removed from being queen, because she had made an idol in a grove; and Asa destroyed her idol, and burnt it by the brook Kidron. But the high places were not removed: nevertheless Asa's heart was perfect with the Lord all his days. -1 Kings 15:11-14


Now these three passages are each talking about a different king, but we can learn from their mistakes and successes. When I read the first passage my heart was instantly pricked and I began to think what are the things that I am leading my husband after. The second passage got me to thinking about the counsel I receive from older godly women. The third passage got me to thinking about the things in my life I make idols of. 

These thoughts all sort of go together, but it wasn't until later in the day that I truly saw the connection. After I finished reading I prayed that the Lord would show me idols in my life and what things are competing affections. I have a definition that I wrote in the front of my bible about idolatry that I like to use. 
"Idolatry is expecting people, possessions, or positions to do for me what only God can"
I don't remember where I got this quote from, but it is something I use to kind of check myself. So after I prayed I looked at this quote and tucked it away in my mind as I continued through my day. 

I was backed up on dishes, so I went into the kitchen to start what I knew was going to be a bit of a task. I usually listen to a teaching or Revive Our Hearts while I wash dishes or work in the kitchen. But today I decided to listen to The Excellent Wife audio book, by Martha Peace. I went to take down my dish drainer and I realized that it had gotten a little yucky sitting up above my cabinets (I only use it when I have a lot of dishes to wash). I wanted to clean it one way that would of slightly inconvenienced my hubby, and doing it another way would of much more inconvenienced me. So I proceeded to ask him to change his plans so that I could do what I wanted. After all what I wanted to do was going to benefit us both. But he said no. "How on earth could he say no" I thought, so I explained to him exactly what he was asking me to do, and with a bit of a puzzled look on his face he simply replied "yea". 

Yea? Yea, what? Yea, you expect me to go out of my way and create more work for myself???? Frustrated, I huffed and puffed away. As I began moving things around, feeling completely inconvenienced and unloved, I mumbled under my breath "who does he think he is?" and  other things I will not be sharing here. Then I heard the voice reading Martha Peace's book begin to talk about submission and being a glory to your husband. I glared over at the speakers and really wanted to tell that lady to shut up! But then the Lord lovingly brought to mind 1 kings 12:8 "But he forsook the counsel of the old men..." Here I am desiring to be a godly wife but then rejecting the counsel of a woman who has gone before me, and even worse I sought her out! I went and got this audio book and turned it on, yet now I'm telling her to mind her business.  Talk about a convicted heart. 

I stood there washing my dishes, with a softened heart and listened as the reader continued. Then next thing I know she's talking about idols that a woman can make in her life, that might not seem like idols. Oh, boy. I can't remember everything she said word for word, but she was saying how often times the idea of having a godly marriage, and family, can become an idol because we loose sight of what's most important, GOD. We focus more on what we want, and even risk sinning to attain it, when really our only focus should be on God. That cut through me like a hot knife through butter. 

Am I guilty of that? Of course not... until she said that you can tell by your reaction when things don't go how you think they should. If you're seeking after the Lord you"ll have peace because you are resting in Him. But if you're seeking after something other than the Lord you'll be frustrated when things aren't fitting into you're plan. That's me! I like things to go my way, and when they don't I say, "Lord are you sure?" But that's not the way to go. Now the dish drainer situation is a small thing but if I have the wrong attitude in the small things how much more so will have the wrong attitude in the big things? My reaction shows that my heart was not focused of serving my family but rather just on getting a job done because I was supposed to. When my husband didn't do what I wanted I began thinking "is this how Christ loved the church?" Which is the totally the wrong attitude. (I won't even get into how she was talking about taking the beam out of you're own eye...)

I went from being hardhearted and angry because I was inconvenienced, to the Lord taking me through all the scriptures He had shown me. If I am not careful in keeping my gaze on Him I will loose focus, and create an idol. I could then end up forcing my husband into going after my idol and not fully after the Lord. If I do not harken to warnings of godly women who have gone before me, and instead focus on the ideals of this current culture,  I can hinder my husband from being who God wants him to be. All because of my need to chase after the idol of a godly marriage and family instead of just focusing on the Lord and allowing Him to bring about godliness in my marriage and family. Ouch, ouch, and ouch again. 

Do you have idols in your heart? Maybe yours are different from mine but examine your heart and cast away any competing affections. 

Thou shalt have no other gods before me...Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God... -Exodus 20:3&5








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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

2 years and counting...


Two years ago today I was blessed to have been able to marry my very best friend! The Lord has blessed us beyond measure and I am so thankful to be called his wife. The day my hubby proposed to me I was heading to his apartment after I had left church one morning. When I arrived he had this posted on the door:




Anyone else would have figured it out, but not me. I read it and just though "yes he was reading his Bible today!" lol. I rushed in and headed straight for the bathroom. While I was in there he slipped a card under the door. The card said "Thinking of you" on the front, had some kind words, and Romans 12:12 printed in it. "Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer". For those that don't know, that was me! I wanted so badly to get married. Once I got saved I felt so much pressure to get married because I didn't want to continue on the path we were on. We had one child together and I was supposed to move in with him after he got his apartment. Once I got saved I knew I couldn't do that. But I so desperately wanted our family together. So even though living at home was hard I withstood it, even though it seemed so far away I was in prayer. I would visit and clean and decorate as though it was my home, just hoping and getting excited for the day it would be. 

Aside from what was already printed in the card he wrote: "Your unwavering & insurmountable show of love and affection has never gone unnoticed. And I never want to be noticed with out you by my side. -HB"


You'd think I would of surely figured it out by now, right? Nope. I just though awww how sweet. I came out of the bathroom and told him how sweet I thought the card was and I thanked him. Then all of a sudden he dropped down on one knee! I was so shocked and even then I couldn't believe it was really happening! Obviously I said yes and the rest is history :o)


We were married 3 months later and we've been growing together in the Lord ever since! Happy Anniversary Browning, I love you! 







Monday, May 21, 2012

Unprofitable Servants

Servant Heart by Jun Jamosmos

Sometimes in our roles as wives and mothers (and even as daughters) we get stuck in this rut of serving and feeling like we aren't getting anything back. I know for me having two very little children I rarely get a thank you for the things that must be done. Like washing dishes, or changing diapers, cleaning up a spill, cleaning a nose, giving a bath, and I could go on and on. But that feeling of not being appreciated can only set us up for failure!


Who said we would get a thank you? Who told us that we even should? Our Lord, Jesus, told us something very different. 
But which of you, having a servant plowing or feeding cattle, will say unto him by and by, when he is come from the field, Go and sit down to meat? And will not rather say unto him, Make ready wherewith I may sup, and gird thyself, and serve me, till I have eaten and drunken; and afterward thou shalt eat and drink? Doth he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I trow not. So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do. -Luke 17:7-10
We are merely servants sent here to fulfill the roles God has called us to. Be it daughter, wife, mother, friend or anything else. We are called to serve those that are put in our path. And when we begin to feel like we aren't being appreciated by those that we serve that means we are looking at ourselves as more than the "unprofitable servants" that we are.  


I know some may say but you don't know my family, they don't deserve to be served. To that I say you are absolutely right! But we aren't serving them because they are worth it. We do it because God has placed them in our lives for us to love, be kind to, and take care of. 

For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one anotherFor all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. -Galatians 5:13-14



P.S. Have you signed up to Soak in the Son with me this summer?

I'm linking up with Time-Warp Wife, Far Above Rubies & Women Living Well

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Sweet and Not Bitter



Ok it's confession time... 


I had a terrible week. I was mean to my husband and although I worked really hard at being involved with my children, my heart wasn't in it. My girls had a fun week, and they had mommy's attention. But I was on edge, and not as patient with them as I could of been. 


I tried to be nice to my hubby, I tried to just act like everything was fine. Then he'd do something like turn the TV, on when I was trying to keep it off, and I'd feel like he was the worst husband ever. Yes I know I was being completely irrational. But it seemed like no matter how hard I tried, he just couldn't do anything right. I prayed on it, I sought God on it, and I asked for strength. Nothing. I asked God to show me why I was so bitter, and to help me to forsake it. Nothing. I resolved to just smile through it........ That didn't last long. 


Then one night while I was cooking dinner I was listening to a radio show on Revive Our Hearts called A God-Sized Picture of Marriage and the speaker, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, was explaining the point of marriage. She said:
"Now, I don’t know why you got married or what your hopes and expectations were that day, or what they may be today years later, but I have news—in case you haven’t discovered it already—and that is that marriage is not first and foremost about you. It’s not that you can’t enjoy a happy and blessed marriage. You can, and I believe that pleases the Lord for you to do that. But the greatest blessings of marriage come as a byproduct of seeking something else. 
You see, marriage was intended by God to display in neon His covenant love. It’s supposed to be a Technicolor picture of redemption. Your marriage is supposed to point people to Christ. It’s supposed to draw them like a magnet to the gospel, to know the love of God, to see that love lived out in two imperfect people who have a great God at the heart of their marriage."
Well that just pierced my heart. I was NOT treating my husband with the respect that he deserves. I was short with him, and I was rude. That's not the way to point anyone to Christ. That was showing selfishness, not love. I was marring the picture. 
Now my husband, on the other hand, was dealing with my attitude and not being rude back to me. He was doing his part. But that's not the way a relationship is supposed to work, we're BOTH supposed to be doing our parts. 
He wasn't happy because he knew I was unhappy. And you know, I still don't know why I was so upset with him to begin with. But I know what ever it was, it wasn't dealt with immediately and I allowed it to fester and create a break down in our relationship. I was being selfish and making it about me. When really, ultimately, it's about God!
The scriptures say, "Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established" -Proverbs 16:3
So while we do love our husbands because they are sweet, and handsome. We're supposed to love them even when they aren't so sweet and when their actions make them slightly less handsome; even if it is just in our heads. 
Being a wife is a "job" appointed by God, and we are supposed to act appropriately regardless of our feelings. So I've purposed to commit my works unto the Lord. I've gone to my husband and expressed the issues I was having and we're doing better. I still have my moments but they are way less often, and by the grace of God I am being much sweeter. My goal is to bring forth sweet water and not bitter! Because after all I can't do both. James 3:11-18 says:
"Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? 12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh. 13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. 14 But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. 15 This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. 16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. 18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace."
I know it won't be easy but I can choose to love "because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." -Romans 5:5 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Worth Fighting For


My family and I have never had it all together, we still don't. My husband got saved after I did (but before we got married) and he's been slow to come around. In the beginning it was just me taking the girls to church and trying to teach them the things of the Lord. But God came in right on time and my hubby is on fire for the Lord!

We've been studying together, praying together, and going to church together. I love getting to sit in church with my man. I used to be so jealous of those women who got to sit in service with their husbands by their sides. That was something I had to repeatedly go to God and ask forgiveness for. But since just giving it all to Him so much has changed. We have family worship time, as well as a time for just my hubby and I to get alone with God.

I don't want to give the impression that we're perfect, because we are FAR from being perfect. FAR. But I do want to give others hope. If you're a wife whose husband seems to be not stepping up to the challenge of being the spiritual leader of your family, there is hope. Let Proverbs 21:1 be your hope: "The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will."

God can turn the heart of your king. You just have to be willing to put the time in on your knees. Prayer is the most powerful weapon that we have. In church on Sunday our pastor said "it is in prayer where the battle is won!" And it's so true! When we try to make things happen in our flesh we will fail. every. time. But when we step back and wait on God to work, we can witness miracles.

Now that doesn't mean that we don't have to work, we do. We most certainly do. But our work is not to nag our husbands and try to change them. Were are supposed to follow the admonishment found in 1 Peter 3:1-2
"1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear."
The word conversation in those verses isn't referring to our speech. It's about the way we carry ourselves what our husbands see in us. When we're at church or around other Christians its so much easier to "act right". But when we're at home and the dishes are piled up, the kids aren't behaving, and your husband has left his socks all around the house, that's when our true character comes out. That's when our husbands need to see us demonstrating the love of Christ. That is when we must extend grace.

It's not always easy but as you are praying for your husband, pray that God will show you anything that you have going on in your life that is hindering His work. Pray for any hidden sin to be revealed. Take your focus off of your husbands short comings and ask God to show you your own. When you take your focus off of your man, things will change. It won't be over night, and there will be set backs. It will be hard. But it's worth fighting for. 


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Just the Beginning


"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ" -Philippians 1:6

Sometimes its hard for me to be focused on the present. I always want to get to the end result. But I realized that in thinking that way I miss, not only the laying down of the foundation, but also the beauty of the moment. In my rush to arrive I tend to miss the journey. My husband is so good about living in the moment and often times he has to anchor me to what's happening now. He has to remind me that the Lord has "begun a good work" in me and that He will see it through.

Lately I've been super focused on being being the perfect homemaker. I've been reading books, and other blogs, gathering all these different tips that I try to put into practice. I must admit I've improved quite a bit. I even got some BEAUTIFUL African violets because of all my hard work {thanks love}. But then I started to get a little discouraged. Because despite all my hard work I'm still not where I wanted to be. I'm not meeting my standard of perfection. But I'm still learning and growing in the Lord and I know that through prayer and dedication I will get there. Not just because it's what I want, but because being a help meet is what I was made for and YHVH always finishes what He starts.



Love and Blessings










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