Teshuva

What matters in life? Is it time spent with loved ones, the things we acquire, the status we reach?  Or is it the time we spend with Hashem?  While I've been away from blogging I've been learning a lot about my self and what really matters to me. To be really honest, I've been lonely. I felt like I didn't have a friend in the world. But as I've learned that isn't true. I have an amazing Abba that loves me and never leaves me lonely. When I feel alone its because I have left Him. Its easy to turn to the things we've always known and that are tangible for comfort. Its easy to find peace in what we see, and not in the things we don't. But it's those times when we must solely rely on our faith, that's when we find true comfort. It is in our weakness that we are made strong and it is by faith that we are able to carry on.

I think for me it's easy to get lost in the shuffle because I didn't grow up with strong faith. We had a lot of traditions but for me personally they weren't spiritually fulfilling. Now that I know what routines and traditions keep my "spiritual tank" full I still seem to drop the ball! I guess its just human nature to get lazy but I'm working on it. I discovered that when I blog I keep my self spiritually grounded and looking heavenward. Hashem made me a writer and an artist for a reason. I need to use the things He gave me to communicate with Him.

I was reading back over some of the different things I've written and I kind of inspired myself! I realized that He knows what He's doing! So I need to just chill out sometimes. I get too wrapped up in the out come of things and I miss right now. I think I've mentioned this before. But at least you know I struggle too, and sometimes with the same things repeatedly! So now here I am for the millionth time at the point of teshuva {repentance}. I'm turning back to Hashem and getting my priorities in order.


I pray that your Fall Chagim {holidays} have been blessed and that you feel refreshed and more connected to Hashem then before. 


Love and Blessings, 

A new year....

A few weeks ago I celebrated my 25th birthday! I'm really excited about starting a new phase in my life, but I've been confused about a lot of things too. On my birthday I decided to read Psalm 25 and I was so shocked to find that it is MY psalm for this time in my life. It's like YHVH was giving me the words I had been praying for.

Psalm 25
 ¹Unto thee, O LORD, do I lift up my soul.
 ²O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me.
 ³Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause.
 ⁴Shew me thy ways, O LORD; teach me thy paths.
 ⁵Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.
 ⁶Remember, O LORD, thy tender mercies and thy lovingkindnesses; for they have been ever of old.
 ⁷Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions: according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness' sake, O LORD.
 ⁸Good and upright is the LORD: therefore will he teach sinners in the way.
 ⁹The meek will he guide in judgment: and the meek will he teach his way.
 ¹⁰All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
 ¹¹For thy name's sake, O LORD, pardon mine iniquity; for it is great.
 ¹²What man is he that feareth the LORD? him shall he teach in the way that he shall choose.
 ¹³His soul shall dwell at ease; and his seed shall inherit the earth.
 ¹⁴The secret of the LORD is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant.
 ¹⁵Mine eyes are ever toward the LORD; for he shall pluck my feet out of the net.
 ¹⁶Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted.
 ¹⁷The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distresses.
 ¹⁸Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins.
 ¹⁹Consider mine enemies; for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred.
 ²⁰O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee.
 ²¹Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.
 ²²Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles.

YHVH is so good and as I continue on this journey I know that He will guide my steps and show me the path He wants me to take. So I'm saying "hello 25, you sure are looking good!"

Yisrael

(Sea of Galilea by Jon Arnold)

Today has been one of those days where my heart longs for Israel. To be able to go to the Kotel {Western Wall} and cry out to my Abba. Nothing is wrong, at least not really. I just long to feel connected to Israel. I've been looking at pictures and some are just breath taking. I know that it's not all beautiful. I know that it can be dangerous, and that there is much conflict. But that doesn't change my love for the land and the people. To be able to step foot on the hallowed streets of Jerusalem would be a dream come true. Or getting to watch the sun set on the beaches of Tel Aviv, or walk through the markets smelling spices. There is just so much that speaks to all of my senses. My body is here, but my mind and my heart are in Israel.

And I will bring them out from the people, and gather them from the countries, and will bring them to their own land, and feed them upon the mountains of Israel by the rivers, and in all the inhabited places of the country. Ezekiel 34:13

A big step

My husband and I are taking a really big step (to us at least). We've decided to wear tzittzit! I know to some this may seem like an odd step or maybe like a really simple one. But for us it's both logical and difficult. Since it's Shabbat (or at least about to be) I won't get into it. But I will update you all on how this has worked out.




Shabbat Shalom

Our Anniversary Day!

The day started out slow and I was convinced it was going to be uneventful. We woke up to the tail end of the storm and were just extremely thankful to have power! Many in our area are still without power still today. YHVH really sparred us from the effects of the storm.

Once the storm was officially over, hubs made the decision for us to try to get to church if it was possible. So he called and the van was able to come pick us up! We needed a few things so he went out to get them and I got the girls ready to go. When hubs came back home he had some fresh picked flowers for me. :o) I love flowers.

Then we went to church and got to fellowship and get prayer over our marriage and our family. But even more exciting than that..... We signed our ketubah!!!! So exciting! Its all I really wanted for this anniversary!

First hubby :o)

Then me :o)

(we also had our pastor sign and two witnesses)

The way we designed it, we have on one side our vows to each other in poem form and then on the other side our actual personal vows that we wrote to each other.

Our vows:

I, *Husband*, promise to love, honor, and protect Tewauna all the days of my life. I promise to always lead her in truth and provide for her. I promise to always be understanding and compassionate putting her needs before my own desires. I promise to guide our family in a manner that is pleasing to the Lord. I will train up our children in the way they should go and love them unconditionally. I promise to remain faithful to her until the day of my death. Through the enabling grace of God I will carry out these promises.

I, Tewauna, promise to love, honor, and obey *Husband* submitting to him as unto the Lord, putting his needs before my own desires. I promise to be his confidant and helper in all things. I promise to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and to always give to my family with all my heart, mind, and soul. I promise to live out our marriage covenant until the day of my death, forsaking all others and giving myself only to him. These promises I will carry out through God’s enabling grace.

The other portion read:

I join you to me forever. I join you to me in everlasting faithfulness. I will be your loving friend as you are mine. Set me as a seal upon your heart, like the seal upon your hand, for love is stronger than death. And I will cherish you honor you, uphold and sustain you in all truth and sincerity.I will respect you and the divine image within you. I take you to be mine in love and tenderness. May my love for you last forever.May we be consecrated, one to the other, by these rings. Let our hearts be united in faith and hope. May our hearts beat as one in times of gladness as in times of saddness. Let our home be built on The Word of God and loving-kindness. May our home be rich in wisdom and reverence.

And here is a picture of our ketubah :o)

We had so much fun making this together and I'm just excited that we got to share the moment with our church family. Now to find a frame big enough....

The storm is over and were all safe Praise Yah! I'll update more soon! *I'm trying out text blogging so I'm sorry if these posts look weird.

Thank you to those who were praying for us and that wished us a happy anniversary!