Monday, January 24, 2011

A Covered Birth

            During this pregnancy I was in so much pain, I just wanted to have the baby and get it over with! In the last two months I started having contractions off and on and it was really getting to me. I kept thinking is this it? Ok now is this it? I was timing contractions like a mad woman! Through all of this YHVH was working on me in some other areas and I was learning and being convicted about different things. One of those things was headcovering. I have been back and forth over this issue a million times, but it seems like it kept coming up in my personal reading and study time. Even my husband couldn't deny it was a recurring theme. I asked him to pray on it and see if he felt as strongly about it as I did. I really haven’t gotten a definitive answer out of him BUT he agreed that I could cover in the house, while he was at work.
                Covering at home led to not only more prayer time, but more FULFILLING prayer time. I found that after awhile I couldn’t pray without having something on my head. I also found myself getting lost in prayer and really pouring out my soul to YHVH. I couldn’t believe how much of a blessing I was receiving. It was like YHVH showed me how to come to Him, in a way that set me free. Having my head covered gave me a freedom I never even knew existed, a feeling of real closeness and intimacy with God.
                It was during my prayer time that God showed me that I didn’t really trust Him with my pregnancy and birth. I had said a million times that I trusted Him, but I wasn’t. I was trusting man. I was constantly timing contractions and calling the doctor. Finally I gave up timing contractions and I actually let go. I began spending time in prayer for the little life in my womb. I spent time focusing on the time I had left to enjoy being part of a miracle. Then it happened, I went into labor!
                I was only 38 weeks along. I had completely given up on having the baby early and settled on the fact that God willing come February (I was looking far ahead) I would be holding a baby. So on New Year’s Eve when the contractions started I had no idea what was about to happen.  I had been really sick for hours. I spent  the whole day in bed or in the bathroom. My poor husband had to deal with lots of a mess. But he’s so good about taking care of me when I’m sick. I really thought I had eaten something bad. Then at around 10pm it happened. I started having contractions. I just ignored them the best I could while I went on watching movies in bed. The New Year came in and hubby came and gave me a kiss, then I went to bed. I woke up at around 3am in serious pain. I tried to go back to sleep but the pain was really getting to me. I managed to get a little sleep in between contractions, and around 9am I was shaking my husband letting him know something was seriously going on. I asked him to help me get in the tub, at which point he insisted on timing my contractions. I had given up on timing them so I told him I didn’t want to know how far apart they were.  So he timed them and I sat in the tub trying not to get my hopes up.  After about an hour with nothing getting better, I called the doctor and insisted they let me come in.
                I tied on my headcovering before leaving for the hospital and I felt a certain strength come about me. It was the first time I would be covering outside of my home. I didn’t realize how much it would be a blessing. We left for the hospital and at this point I couldn’t walk or talk through my contractions. When we arrived at the hospital it seemed like no one believed that I was actually going to have my baby, but I just left it up to YHVH.
                Throughout my whole labor and delivery I prayed. I prayed for my labor to progress, to be able to relax through my contractions, for the health of my baby, and anything else that came up. I felt so unbelievably close to YHVH. It was like He was there with me holding my hand through it all. When I thought I couldn’t go on I was able to call on His strength. Only in His strength was I able to labor naturally up until I reached 10cm and it was time to push. I got an epidural at the last possible minute but my doctor turned it off before it could take full effect. About an hour later our second daughter was born.
               This birth was so different from my first. I felt so close to YHVH, I felt so much peace and comfort from my heavenly Father. I felt so incredibly loved. I truly believe that is the power of following Him. When we really seek YHVH, He is faithful to show us love, and mercy. 

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." -Isaiah 40:31
"He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?" -Micah 6:8
"I will abide in thy tabernacle for ever: I will trust in the covert of thy wings. Selah." -Psalm 61:4
"He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler." -Psalm 91:4


1 comment:

  1. Tewauna,
    This was beautiful! Thank you for sharing this, it was precious testimony to the Father's faithfulness. May this precious time of intimacy with YHVH become so "regular" and familiar that you forgot what it was ever like before. May you trust Him with all you are and all you have.

    Each of my children have brought me closer to him and stretched me in ways I needed to be stretched. It is part of the preciousness of our call as Mommas. It is a glorious thing!

    Blessings to you and yours, pamela


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