I can't believe I'm already at 100 posts!!!
This blog started out as a place for me to work out my thoughts and document my growth. I had no idea that a year ago I would be in the place that I am. Many things have changed and I've grown so much closer YHVH. I was thinking and thinking what should I write about for this post when I opened up my Bible to Psalm 37. I NEEDED to read that today. I'm in the beginning of my journey. I have not arrived and everyday is a struggle.
We believe my place is at home with our children. But doing so is different from how I was raised. I struggle with it. But this is what Adonai has led us to do. Submission, although I am willing, is difficult. Letting go of the idea that I am in control of my own life has been difficult. But I have chosen to delight myself in Adonai. His ways are not my ways. He has promised to give the desires of my heart. But I think that means when I truly delight in Him then my heart's desires will line up with His. I long for that.
He says to rest in Him, to wait on Him. I am probably the most impatient person in the world. But still I wait. I trust Adonai. I trust that all that He says will come to pass and that loving Him and following His commands is the best thing. Not the easiest thing, but the best.
Dressing modestly is hard. Not because I want to attract attention. But because its not easy to be set apart. To stand out from the crowd. When I go places in my long skirt and headcovering I know people wonder what's my story. My own family has a hard time adjusting. But I believe that this is what Adonai wants of me. I don't go around looking for ways to be different. He calls me to it. Before we (hubby and I) decided I should cover full time out of the home, I remember reading different passages during my normal Bible reading that alluded to a headcovering. I would show my husband and ask if he saw it too. I needed reassurance I wasn't cracking up. That indeed I was coming across these things, "randomly". Of course nothing is random Yah knows what He is doing.
Although this road is not easy, having an Abba that gives encouragement right when you need it makes it possible. Today mine came in the form of Psalm 37.
Psalm 371Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.2For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.3Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.4Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.5Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.6And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.7Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.8Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.9For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.10For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be.11But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.12The wicked plotteth against the just, and gnasheth upon him with his teeth.13The LORD shall laugh at him: for he seeth that his day is coming.14The wicked have drawn out the sword, and have bent their bow, to cast down the poor and needy, and to slay such as be of upright conversation.15Their sword shall enter into their own heart, and their bows shall be broken.16A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked.17For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the LORD upholdeth the righteous.18The LORD knoweth the days of the upright: and their inheritance shall be for ever.19They shall not be ashamed in the evil time: and in the days of famine they shall be satisfied.20But the wicked shall perish, and the enemies of the LORD shall be as the fat of lambs: they shall consume; into smoke shall they consume away.21The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again: but the righteous sheweth mercy, and giveth.22For such as be blessed of him shall inherit the earth; and they that be cursed of him shall be cut off.23The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.24Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.25I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.26He is ever merciful, and lendeth; and his seed is blessed.27Depart from evil, and do good; and dwell for evermore.28For the LORD loveth judgment, and forsaketh not his saints; they are preserved for ever: but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off.29The righteous shall inherit the land, and dwell therein for ever.30The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.31The law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide.32The wicked watcheth the righteous, and seeketh to slay him.33The LORD will not leave him in his hand, nor condemn him when he is judged.34Wait on the LORD, and keep his way, and he shall exalt thee to inherit the land: when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see it.35I have seen the wicked in great power, and spreading himself like a green bay tree.36Yet he passed away, and, lo, he was not: yea, I sought him, but he could not be found.37Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace.38But the transgressors shall be destroyed together: the end of the wicked shall be cut off.39But the salvation of the righteous is of the LORD: he is their strength in the time of trouble.40And the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him.