Sunday, May 6, 2012

Sweet and Not Bitter

Ok it's confession time... 

I had a terrible week. I was mean to my husband and although I worked really hard at being involved with my children, my heart wasn't in it. My girls had a fun week, and they had mommy's attention. But I was on edge, and not as patient with them as I could of been. 

I tried to be nice to my hubby, I tried to just act like everything was fine. Then he'd do something like turn the TV, on when I was trying to keep it off, and I'd feel like he was the worst husband ever. Yes I know I was being completely irrational. But it seemed like no matter how hard I tried, he just couldn't do anything right. I prayed on it, I sought God on it, and I asked for strength. Nothing. I asked God to show me why I was so bitter, and to help me to forsake it. Nothing. I resolved to just smile through it........ That didn't last long. 

Then one night while I was cooking dinner I was listening to a radio show on Revive Our Hearts called A God-Sized Picture of Marriage and the speaker, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, was explaining the point of marriage. She said:
"Now, I don’t know why you got married or what your hopes and expectations were that day, or what they may be today years later, but I have news—in case you haven’t discovered it already—and that is that marriage is not first and foremost about you. It’s not that you can’t enjoy a happy and blessed marriage. You can, and I believe that pleases the Lord for you to do that. But the greatest blessings of marriage come as a byproduct of seeking something else. 
You see, marriage was intended by God to display in neon His covenant love. It’s supposed to be a Technicolor picture of redemption. Your marriage is supposed to point people to Christ. It’s supposed to draw them like a magnet to the gospel, to know the love of God, to see that love lived out in two imperfect people who have a great God at the heart of their marriage."
Well that just pierced my heart. I was NOT treating my husband with the respect that he deserves. I was short with him, and I was rude. That's not the way to point anyone to Christ. That was showing selfishness, not love. I was marring the picture. 
Now my husband, on the other hand, was dealing with my attitude and not being rude back to me. He was doing his part. But that's not the way a relationship is supposed to work, we're BOTH supposed to be doing our parts. 
He wasn't happy because he knew I was unhappy. And you know, I still don't know why I was so upset with him to begin with. But I know what ever it was, it wasn't dealt with immediately and I allowed it to fester and create a break down in our relationship. I was being selfish and making it about me. When really, ultimately, it's about God!
The scriptures say, "Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established" -Proverbs 16:3
So while we do love our husbands because they are sweet, and handsome. We're supposed to love them even when they aren't so sweet and when their actions make them slightly less handsome; even if it is just in our heads. 
Being a wife is a "job" appointed by God, and we are supposed to act appropriately regardless of our feelings. So I've purposed to commit my works unto the Lord. I've gone to my husband and expressed the issues I was having and we're doing better. I still have my moments but they are way less often, and by the grace of God I am being much sweeter. My goal is to bring forth sweet water and not bitter! Because after all I can't do both. James 3:11-18 says:
"Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? 12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh. 13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. 14 But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. 15 This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. 16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. 18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace."
I know it won't be easy but I can choose to love "because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." -Romans 5:5 

1 comment:

  1. I just love an honest post! I have to say I have really been struggling in the respect area. The strange thing is my husband is so deserving of respect. I don't know why I am struggling maybe because i ma so tiered, but this is a great reminder... don't make excuses just do what God calls us to do :)


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Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. -Proverbs 16:24

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