Boy this one is a biggie and no one ever likes to talk about it... But The Lord has laid it on my heart so I'm going to go ahead and put myself out there. This is so important for more reasons than most of us usually think about.
According to scripture there is a chain of command.
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. -1 Corinthins 11:3As you see it goes God, man, woman. Not that man is superior to woman, but that man covers the woman. It's been said that this is because Eve told Adam to eat the apple, and women needed to be "put in their place" so to speak.
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. -Gen 3:16That verse is after God confronts Adam and Eve about eating the fruit. The second to last part is so important; that our desires shall be to our husbands. So it's not about just him being our leader but also about us wanting him to be. Wanting him to help keep us in a relationship where we are obeying the Lord. I think for women submitting to men can be so against our nature. But God knows what's best and having us in a role of submission allows us to have a better relationship with HIM. I believe that is why scripture says:
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. -Ephesians 5:22-24
Marriage is supposed to be an earthly example of Christ and the church. So husband submit to God, and wife submit to your husband "as unto the Lord". Do with that what you will. You can love it, or hate it, but I'm not one to argue with the Word of God.
I know there are always questions like "what about if your husband is not a believer", or "what if my husband isn't submitting to God"? To that I say if your husband isn't telling you to do anything that goes against God, then you still have to submit. The only time we can step out of "line" is to prevent sin. But even with that we should be in prayer about it. We should be asking God to take care of it so we don't have to. Because the important thing in all of this is obeying God.
How submission looks in every family will be very different. There is no cookie cutter way to submit, and the best thing for every woman to do is sit down and have a talk with your husband. Because no one else can tell you what's important to him.
Here is the part that you might not have thought about. I once heard a sermon on how God sometimes uses the relationship that we have with our children (or our parents) to teach us lessons about our relationship with Him. That really stuck out to me in so many ways, especially when I think back on my relationship with my parents.
Now that I'm a parent I spend a lot of time thinking about my relationship with my children. I've been thinking about the families that I've seen who have children who are well behaved and joyful and USUALLY the parents of these children are totally submitted to the Lord. The wives are joyfully submitted to God in their role as wife and mother, and the husbands are totally submitted to God in their role as husband and father. Then it hit me. That's it!
When we are submitted to God, doing His will, and seeking His heart that's when were are able to really "train up our children in the way they should go!" Unless our hearts are turned to God and seeking His will in our lives we can't teach our children anything.How can we expect our children to listen to us when we aren't listening to our Heavenly Father? We have to demonstrate joyful obedience and submission for our children. As moms that means we need to be joyfully submitting to our husbands and dads need to be joyfully submitting to God.
Some practical ways we can demonstrate this are:
- Talking with your children about decisions you are praying about
- Praying with your children about things you feel led to do.
- Praising God with your children, especially when you have answered prayers.
- Giving your children examples of how God has led you to do things that, and you did them.
*Disclaimer: if you are being abused seek counsel from someone who is submitted to God. A pastor, pastor's wife, or just a godly women that you know. I am in no way advocating staying in or defending an abusive situation.*
I'm linking up at: Time-Warp Wife, Women Living Well, and A Wise Woman Builds Her Home