My family and I have never had it all together, we still don't. My husband got saved after I did (but before we got married) and he's been slow to come around. In the beginning it was just me taking the girls to church and trying to teach them the things of the Lord. But God came in right on time and my hubby is on fire for the Lord!
We've been studying together, praying together, and going to church together. I love getting to sit in church with my man. I used to be so jealous of those women who got to sit in service with their husbands by their sides. That was something I had to repeatedly go to God and ask forgiveness for. But since just giving it all to Him so much has changed. We have family worship time, as well as a time for just my hubby and I to get alone with God.
I don't want to give the impression that we're perfect, because we are FAR from being perfect. FAR. But I do want to give others hope. If you're a wife whose husband seems to be not stepping up to the challenge of being the spiritual leader of your family, there is hope. Let Proverbs 21:1 be your hope: "The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will."
God can turn the heart of your king. You just have to be willing to put the time in on your knees. Prayer is the most powerful weapon that we have. In church on Sunday our pastor said "it is in prayer where the battle is won!" And it's so true! When we try to make things happen in our flesh we will fail. every. time. But when we step back and wait on God to work, we can witness miracles.
Now that doesn't mean that we don't have to work, we do. We most certainly do. But our work is not to nag our husbands and try to change them. Were are supposed to follow the admonishment found in 1 Peter 3:1-2
"1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear."The word conversation in those verses isn't referring to our speech. It's about the way we carry ourselves what our husbands see in us. When we're at church or around other Christians its so much easier to "act right". But when we're at home and the dishes are piled up, the kids aren't behaving, and your husband has left his socks all around the house, that's when our true character comes out. That's when our husbands need to see us demonstrating the love of Christ. That is when we must extend grace.
It's not always easy but as you are praying for your husband, pray that God will show you anything that you have going on in your life that is hindering His work. Pray for any hidden sin to be revealed. Take your focus off of your husbands short comings and ask God to show you your own. When you take your focus off of your man, things will change. It won't be over night, and there will be set backs. It will be hard. But it's worth fighting for.