Lately I've felt like I wasn't giving my children enough. I know that sounds crazy since I'm a stay at home mom, but it's true. I found myself trying to just get through the day so I could have some peace and quiet. It seemed like the days were just rolling into each other and all I had was my quiet time after dinner when the kids were in bed. Maybe it was the training night shift my hubby was working, or maybe it was my attitude. But either way I had to take it to the Lord.
I started praying for the Lord to give me a love for my children like He has for them. One that doesn't grow tired of the noise or the needs. I cried out for Him to help me love them the way they needed to be loved.
Then it happened. During our dinner prayer I felt for the first time the little hand I was holding. I've held that same little hand at so many dinners. But that night it felt different. It was like I was holding her hand but she was holding my heart. All I could say was thank you God.
I thought I was doing a good job! But one night on my knees changed me. Suddenly every hug was important, every kiss worth more than gold. I finally saw my children as more than souls to be trained. They're also people to be enjoyed. I used to beat myself up when my children misbehaved, now I'm able to give us both grace.
That simple prayer changed my entire perspective, and opened my eyes to what I was missing. I'm finally in a place where I can s-l-o-w-d-o-w-n. I've spent this week truly enjoying my children. And it was great!
Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:4-5